Royally Flushed

by darknessfalls
Well, i get to write once more until next Monday...i'll make this one count. I am done. I've had it. Nothing is right anymore. I cant do nothing right. So forget it. I am just going to have to try to move on. It will take awhile...but hell, life is life, all i can do is move on. People can say what they want about me, but all that does is lead me closer and closer to suicide...so it would just be better to shh. It looks like i cant be understood. No one knows what im going through, and so i will keep it that way. I will not drive others down with me, i care to much for people...yeah yeah "Then why did you leave the one you cared for the most?" Simple, to not crush her with the pressure of my problems. I can hardly deal with it myself. I cant stand to see people i love (and if someone says i dont love them than you can go jump off a cliff, ill be right behind you)cry or worry. My problems are mine, selfish yes, but its for the best that my slow death is suffered alone....i will not be with someone else for a long time. The pain of this relationship lose is to great to move on fast...ill get over it. To the ones who acctually have stood by me...i love you. More than my own family...i'll find a way to make things better for myself...it will be done...just dont forget me...i wont forget you.... Charles Please, dont leave a hate comment...keep it to yourself.
Read 13 comments
i cant believe you are actually giving up on me. i guess all the things you told me didnt mean anything at all.You are the reason i am alive and going..well...since you wont come back or let me care and be tha tgirlfriend i want to be but you wont let me and i hate being pushed..well..i guess i should tell you..i am not going to eb white..i am most likely going to lee high school..i almost turned it down casue of you.i wanted to be with you .
it is like you dont care anymore..but i guess i will keep my decents...i odnt know what to do with my life..i dont know me..i will start cutting but it is like..why do you care..you helped me but you wont let me..what ever happened to i will be there for you thick and thin but i guess they were only words with no meaning and if you really love or which i should say loved then prove it or i am gone..if this doesnt last than i dont know what will.
but i love you....if that means anything anymore..i wish i could have the charles i knew who loved..but he is gone and my heart will always belong to him wherever he is..i will be waiting for him and see if he comes back to me and sweep me off my feet and wouldnt let me go as he promised me.
Let this Wade guy deal with her bullshit, you are better then this. Start moving on by forgetting this site and do something more constuctive.
[Anonymous]
Doesn't mean you have to loose contact with your friends, just means you will stop going back and forth. The dog has been beaten enough.
[Anonymous]
Both of you please for you own sakes grow the hell up and move on. The next 4 years are going to blow your minds and none of this shit will matter.
[Anonymous]
yea what that person said forgot me...you will do just fine and whoever said that ....shut the fuck up!!
woah woah, wait. what comment? i havent visited anyones site but my own in a good solid month. im not sure what your accusing me of, but would you please kindly tell me what you think i did.
ok, woah, what is going on? kill yourself? could someone please fill me in?
P.S. You better not kill yourself, or ill be right after you. believe it or not you are my friend and i would do the same if raven, jess or matti killed themselves. i DO care. you wanna know why im such a bith? i have been raised where if you criticize someone it means you care or you hate them. it this case with all my friends, i care. but hey you dont have beileve me
dont promise anything that you cant keep
I've tried suicide. I was really bad at it. Cognitive behavioural therapy help, medication help but neither of them are the cure. Things get better with time. Just have to take your life in your hands in a positive way. It seems impossible when you have depression, it sounds impossible but it is not.
Good luck.
[Anonymous]
dear anoymous,
surly you dont know raven or me or myself so why dont you just go ahead and deal with your own builshit.and the reasn i am not with her cause she will always love charles and i dont want to hurt her more than what she is.

always,
the wade guy
[Anonymous]
I am done. I've had it. Nothing is right anymore. I cant do nothing right. So forget it. I am just going to have to try to move on. It will take awhile...but hell, life is life, all i can do is move on. People can say what they want about me, but all that does is lead me closer and closer to suicide...so it would just be better to shh. join the club...