I'm kinda sad. I feel kinda lonely koz john is hanging with his friends today and when i tried to tell him i wanted to hang wit um all he was too busy talking to all his friends while he was on the phone with me. I kinda felt shut out. Weither he heard me or not... But idk I feel kinda alone right now, its kinda making me turn up into smoke. Ughm, in more ways than one. Idk I could go by Anthonys and hangout with them koz they stopped over after school n told me to go chill @ their house.. RIght on 71st here... but idk i dont know what i want to do, its like i always feel when johns hanging out that i wanna be there with them, and feel part of the circle. Ughmmm, idk i love him and im getting into a emotional state once **AGAIN** i hate the "Emotional phase b4 my **WEEK**" it sucks... but yea im kinda use to it, i feel down n low when that week is coming.. i never have a normal week practically. :-) I love life still but jeeze... Why do i feel so shut out right now? I wish that i could feel secure with or without the truth staring me in the face. :-/ the truth that im all alone and by myself right now.. *~*~*~*~ Why cant u see that ur the only one i want.. shes onli a picture from a magazine.. all i ever need is what i got with u ---- shes no u ----