me roxie and cc r guilty by assosiation we went to brandyns house we met this kid austin ithink his name was and then he wanted to go to publix and i got little strawberry gummy straws and cc got gum and he wanted to get dust off he didnt have ne money so we lent him some then he did it and brandyns dad came in and thought tht me and roxie and cc did it but we didnt

today was good even tho i have 29 days left ive noticed im falling down the rabit hole tht leads to lonelyness but i guess i should be used to it by now last time it was 4 months my day is brightened tho by all my wonderful friends roxie cc cloey brandyn daniel and carey and many more eh i hate being grounded i dont think my momknows what it feels like to be left out ive felt like tht pretty much my whole life cuz ive nevr been able to od normal stuff with my friends liek go to the mall and stuff but w/e ill suffer for no w but hopefully my mom willcome ot her senses and free m from this prison ive been trapted in i hate feeling alone

ok ive decided to go straight edge i will not smoke or do ne more drugs it has caussed me to much chaos and pain and suffering with the grounding of not being able to see friends i hate the feeling of being alone but w/e so yes im clean tall dry sober w/e u wanna call it now

i think ... im going to kill my self every thing would be much better tht way mabe im just over reacting or mabe im just scred shitless of my mom and teh whole world but i do think it would be better tht way they found out every thing the weed , the tripple Cs the morning glory im scared now i feel like im going to die and i cant fall alseep before it happeneds this has happened before but only with weed and im so scared of what my mom will do i frightened to death of her i dont thinkshe knows how much she scres me shes more of a fear then a mom my heart is pounding im waiting for he r to walk threw the door cc and roxie say ill only be gorunded for a month i hope so but idk what will happen every one dose like me better tho when im high idk y they r taking it away help me sum one im scared and idk what to do roxie and cc r so calm well cc gets off with nothin and roxie has be caught so many tiumes shes used to it ah i cant take it ne more the suspense is killing me i wanna get it over with i wish there was fast foward button so i could fast foward to the day i die and then evry trouble will be gone sigh but its not tht easy nither is it easy to go threw with killing ur self not tht im going to but idk ah help i need to call sum one but idk who to sum one call me 1 786 547 0674

ok so today was pretty much the best day of high skool granted tht weve been in there less then 2 weeks lol even tho cc wasnt there it was still the best . and hey theres always 2marrow to be better rite rite so ne way y it was the best u ask well one cuz my guitar teacher wasnt tehre so we all just fucked around with our guitars i tuned mine tryed to tune roros lol and pretty much played arials teh whole time we learned what the xs mean on the tabs lol me amanda and roro dont kno shit but the emo/stoner dude helped us out with tht lol so ya another reason y it was so good is cuz in 2nd hr i talked to chelea and marizieo however u spell it we laffed oyr asses off at random shit so ya tht was good then after tht i saw LB and talked and wlaked with him ot my next class i havnt talked to him in soooo long but its kool tht i did today then in 3rd hr eh it wasok but w/e lunch is where the great stuff happeneds cuz every one is there so we all finishe dour lunches early and went out side to play tht game agin franklin and cloey joined them but i didnt danny did too butthey only did it for about 5 seconds tehn just stood with teh rest of us cloey is liek so awsome shes so much fun and danny and roy i go to talk to alot then i saw kegan during the lunchness time i was liek hey wats up and hes liek ya u wanna fight huh huh and i was liek ya bring it lol then he left and teh bell rang i walked with danny and talked to him teh whole way so ya ive never seen him talk to much lol hes very funny then in 4th hr i saw kegan agin and he asked wat tht game was and i explained it to him i think he was on crack or sumthin cuz he was very jumpish aroundish and wouldnt sit still or sit down and ah i hate it when he mumbles hes a mumbler so i wa slike u mumble too much stop speak up lol so then in 4th hr we had to get in pairs so i paired up with chelsea and we talked and laffed teh whole tim e even thjo we were sudposed to be doin stuff lol then after class i walked with danny to out side ness and we waited for every one to come to the hang out ish area or w/e ud call it then danny started leaving and so did his frien jaun (sp)? and i was liek FINE walk away with out saying bye and jaun turns around and gose r u talkin to me or danny and i was like mmmm both and hes ok and he walks up to me and he huged me and i was liek yeeee lol and then he said bye but he stayed tehre so i was like oookk then danny came back and cloey showed up and she jumped on me liek 20 times lol and then i was liek common roxie lets go cuz we had to goto walgreens to seeif we could buy more triple Cs and stacker 2s so ya we said bye to every one and we saw cloey and jaun on their bus so tehn me and roxie wento to walgrens but teh wouldnt let us by the pills which made us sad so we went to publix peed and got sum water then went to teh dollar store looked around and i stole 2 lighters red one for me purple for roxie then we went to dairy queen and got ice cream yay then we walked all the way back to her hous e and chilled for a while then i had to leave and now im here explaining my amazing day to u lol ah today was good mabe 2marrow will be even better and mabe cc will be there too

first i wanna say sry to every one who read my spoazmatic attack entry i didnt kill my self obviously but i did have a spaz attack and i wanna say hank you to steph and deanna for leaveing me comments tht have helped me feel better so ya thank u both but i have brilant news i am grounded for 1 month from every thing tho the comp and fone and stuff so i wont be on her e much i have to sneek around lol o well ive donr it befor ei can do it agin this time i got off easy tho so woooohooooo lol today was pretty good i huged danny and jaun yeee and ai got to talk to chealse all in 4th hr so ya im happy i love high skool thx agin steph and deanna

o ya and i forgot to metion tht roro is geting tested for drugs on wends or thursday and it tests for every thing which really sucks cuz she cant do nethin ne more so yea thta sucks as cuz if it dose then tht means her parents will clal my parents and ill get tested and i smoked last on tuesday so it will still be in my system if im tested with in 23 days so if i cum up positive for it then im shiped off to boot camp cuz ive already gotten caught for it before and my said if it ever happened agin ill get sent to boot camp ahhh this sucks o well w/e happeneds happeneds rite rite? im watching alice and wonder land and i keep thinkin baout tht time hwen me and cc and roro were high and we watche dit ahhhh tht was so funny well ya ill live

ok so high skool is awsome and there r hot ppl every where tons in guitar lol danny is hott hes so cute hes so shy hes funny too when he talks lol but ya hes hott so is kegan in my health class he actually talks to me so thts pretty kool but he hasnt been here for the past 2 days and roy is uberly hott too lol roy is soo funny but i think he has a girl friend so ya lol today after we all ate lunch we went out side top see shawn and his friends play sum sort of game but i forgot teh name of it u have to kick a crushed can threw sum ones legs then they have to run to a wall really far awAy and u have to get there before ppl tag u and ppl would trip him and stuff so ya basicly its liek a kicking fest where tehy all kick teh shit out iof each other cuz they miss teh can lol its funny cloey idk how to spell it is so funny shes awsome we always fight and stuff liek throw things at each otehr and stuff i loooooove high skool

look at my pretty drawing i just did lol lol boredom

ok so i have take step one into converting kaylee into one of us us as in cc me and roro i have burned her 7 cds of starter music like green day simple plan gwen stefiani linkin park new found glory and all american rejects im pretty sure she will liek all the songs on there so ya thts done next is to teach her sum thin on teh guitar and be a littl e nicer to her so she will actually gradually turn over to teh rock side instead of the contry/rap side and kelsey well she got a head start she all ready liek our music and she dresses in mostly black so shes way ahead of my sister lol by 6th grade hopefully they will be hanging out with us and stuff mwhahahahhaa

ok so i for got to metion tht i pretty much broke my toe yesterday on the trampoline its swallen and its cocked to the left on the right foot its all black and blue and hurts alot i hit it like 5 times to day but ne way othe rthen tht today was ok danny and his friend r so hott lol lunch is so much funny with every one there idk if it just me but every thing feels like it gonna stop or end soon like i only have a limited amount of time with my friends or do the things we do liek skool will be over or sumthin or like idk but i just feel weird o well ill get over it im bored i wanna do sumthin but i cant b/c im to lazy get off my ass lol

SAVE THE BANANAS !! lol no seriously tho i read this articl tht said tht a type of bananas r almost exsicnt so we need to save them ok hey roro i finally got my 6 so no more pms lol so ya today was ok nothin speshul roro cc and sam came over then sam left then roro left then cc stayed for while and omg i hate ysreal for every one who just tuned into my life ysreal is my ex step dad and i HATE him i always have and hes the biggest ass in the world and he made my sister kaylee cry b/c she was sick so she didnt go to his house this weekend then she was jumping on teh trampoline and he saw her and he got mad and was like u lied to me and like u kno whne u get sick but by the end of the day u feel good enuff to do one thing well tht one thing was trampoline for kaylee and he was just makin her feel like crap about it hes liek thts a great way to show me how much u love me and all this other crap i was liek this is bull shit so i disconnected the fone so she didnt have to here it but she ran to teh bath room crying and locked her self in there i felt bad ah i hate hijm hes so fuckin mean i hope he gets hit by a fucking bus er w/e im bored now tht every one left i hate frankie i hate her i HATE her shes teh fakest person in teh world shes lies about every thing LIES all of the sentences she speaks r lies i hate fake ppl one day ill kill them all itll be my job to make the world better tht way and make up for all my stealing and rong doing ill eliminate all the fake liars of the wolrd and brandyn i hate u too b/c im so jhelose of u u go to all thses concerts and i cant go die jk but no really die jk jk all u ppl out there reading this dont worry im not a phsycotic homicidal freak i just have ppl issues lol or at least thts what teh little voice in my head tells me JK JK JK calm down lol

ok so here is un update on what i look liek now this is me with my new hair cut lol now here is me and jenna and here is a picture of jenna

ok so the mall was good i got most of every thing i wanted -the atreyu cd -a new walet it has the independant crozz on it -a shirt tht says i have a thing for guys in eyeliner -a hat tht says the used on it with a bit of blood spatter loooove it and and magazine with pictures i can hang on my wall then there were a couple things i didnt buy i "magicly " ended up with them lol for all u slow pppl out their it means i stole em shoe laces with red and white stars 3 pairs of earings ones like the opld ones i lost and ones with all diff sorts of stars and ones for my uper ear so ya im happy

ok so last nite i did tripleCs yay for me omg i loved them it took like an hr for it to kick in and while i was waiting for it lik e i was laying down listening to music while roro played with my hair and i was liek shit i kno all these songs how do u kno them and shs liek my cuzin and im liek ur cuzin if frickin awsome so liek now i love her cuzin even tho ive never met him lol so en way we were watchin rob zombie videos and they r so kool my fav one is with the blue flashy ness i love th e feeling of teh triple Cs ror kept tellin me to get u[p and walk and each time as teh feeling got stronger nad stronger it was harder to get up na d i could barely balence and every thing was like woshing and ror was rite my eye couldnt focus when i looke at things and then jesse came in and said sum thin aboutr a girl in his room so i figured he was gonna fuck her then he started putin his fingers in my face and i got scared to hid un der the covers then he put his hand on my head and then left then roxie and cc talked to me i cant remember too much but ya it was fun roxie feel asleep and i talked to cc sum more then she fell asleep then i couldnt sleep for awhile and i would sit up then lay down siot up then lay down cuz like when ur laying down u feel normal and if u sit up fast its liek whooos agin lol so ya tht was fun then i wa s liek u need to sleep u have to baby sit 2marrow so ya i slept then woke up0 then roro did and so did cc i ha a slight tummy ache but i dont feel liek shit like ror ro said but like im really tired and my vision in liek cloudy kinda ish so ya its weird but it was fuckin awsome

yes i have changed my icons around dont worry u werent oging crazy or hillucinating lol but ya im just tryin to get new ones on here cuz im bored of lookin at the same thing every day

ok so today was pretty damn awsome high skool gets better and better i went to classes as usal 2marrow i have to bring my guitar into class so ya thtll be kool lunch asnd after lunch is liek the bets part of teh day one cuz ay lunch every one is there cc , roxie ,carry, brandyn , and 3 new ppl and more ppl i kno and then after lunch i have class with chelsea and shes so funny and theres a hot nice guy tht sits in front of me lol then after skool i hang out with every one for a while and walk home and usally ill go over sum ones house or they would come to mine but to they no one did so owell i guess this weekend is going to be fucking awsome roxie and cc r sleeping over my dads house 2marrow i bring my weed and cc brings staker twos and triple Cs and then my dad leaves in teh morning we get high and do sum stacker twos then we go to the mall buy shit loads of stuff go to target buy more triple s if they will let us then go to walmart buy shit loads of morning glory seeds fo jesse so he can make a speshul concotion iwth it then give us sum 2 days later then after the mall and every thing we come back to my house do the triple Cs at nite and then other shit and we will have fun fun fun lol wooooohooo

ok to day was good same as the days before roxie cc and carey r over now and me and cc wanted to go smoke roxie cant and carey wont but ne way i wanted to but then i remebered tht i left my weed in my pocket of my panmts tht i left at my dads house im so pised i hope my dad dosent pick up my pants and it falls out errrr curse my stupid for getting mind

well me and cc r high rite now i miss this feeling so much i havent done it in a long time im so happy ah it took us longer the usal for it to hit us usally it take one or 2 or 3 hits but this time it too us like 10 i think its cuz we havent done it in a while cu i remebr jesse saying tht the more u do it the fast it is it hits u and we havent done it in a wehle so l iek ya o and and i have to remeber what i was sudposed to rember o yes i was thinkin i was in deep deep thought and i was thinkin about people killing the selves and i was liek i wonder what their birthdays are and their horescopes cuz like i remeber reading tht ares dont get along well with others so liek if teh odnt get along well with ppl then they dont make friends then the get lonely then they kill them selves so liek ya i wonder if the suicide ppl r mosly ares sum thin to think about oh a skool was awsome

ok so today was the 1st day of highskool omg i love it its so awsome i missed every one so much and i made a couple new friends i cant remeber their names tho one was a girl and one was a boy the guy was really kool hes not in 9th tho i think mabe 10th or 11th he knows who msi is and has a t-shirt with them on it which was awsome and the girl ya shes liek prepy but its ok ill slowly change her lol so ya it was kool roxie met alot of new ppl and i met them so thts kool she met the one guy who looks liek the guy form tht one movie me and roxie saw i cnat remeber the name of it tho but me and roxie call the guy on the movie the hottness and the kid look s ,liek him alot lol well me and cc and roxie had to walk to skool it wa sok then after skool we went to roxies house and i did my hw and jesse and all his friends wer eover and byrin was over which was really weird cuz i never exspected him to kno jesse and actually be in roxies house lol so ya jesse was all u have moning glory seeds? and i was all liek ya and hes like ill make a trade u gimme the seeds ill give u weed lol so ya we had one of jesses friends drive me to my house i get the seeds give them to the friend me roxie and cc get droped off at the old buss stop and wait for davie o and ya i got the weed before i left to my house just incase u were wondering so ya brenda stoped by and we told her we were waiting for davie and we were goiung to careys so ya davie got off the bus and we all huged him and we went to his hous e carey was their ah it so myuch fun their we started watching a movie then we ended up out in the back yard tackling each othe r and wrestling for liek and hr lol then we had to go home and mine and roxies parents start bittching at us ah i hate it but w/e im over it now ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh i hat e frankie i hate her HATE HER shes the bigest poser in teh world ne way ya i love high skool