IF YOU FORGET ME I want to know one thing. You know how this is: If I look at the crystal moon, at the red branch of the slow autumn at my window, if I touch near the fire the impalable ash or the wrinkled body of the log, everything carries me to you, as if everything exists, aromas, light, metals, were little boats that sail toward those isles of yours that wait for me. THE VOW When the lover goes, the vow though broken remains, that trace of eternity love brings down among us stays, to give dignity to the suffering and to intensify it. If these mean anything, please comment me.

OK, I have no idea what is going on. There is a girl ok and I started off dating her not even really knowing who she was. Then some stuff happened and we broke up. That was whatever though. I have recently seen her and I have this weird feeling about her. But it is good though. I am known for not judging people by their physical appearance. And this girl, I don't know what to say. I just love everything about her. Her personality, appearance, her thoughts, everything!! I can't seem to find out how she feels about me though. It would be cool if we were just friends, which is kinda what we are right now I think. If there is more than that out there, someone please tell me. I don't want to go out in the world chasing my deathwishes-emotionally. I just can't bring myself to ask her because she is having a hard time in life right now, I think. So, you know who you are, please talk to me sometime. --Just because you are lonely, it doesn't mean you are lonely.

Once again I am happy as can be. Motion City Soundtrack rocks my socks so bad. Bet you don't hear that many guys say something like that. Oh well. Instead of a poem or song I've written, I have a story for you all. "Merciless Tale #103" Josh stared down from his perch atop the dead fir tree. Below a pack of gray wolves circled the ground staring upward as their feral brains devised a way to get to him. The unusually harsh Siberian winter had made game scarce and wolves' hunger could be traced in the gaunt outline of ribs that bulged beneath their fur. Suddenly, a violent wind blew in from the surrounding Altai Mountains. Josh's tree creaked, then snapped, sending him to the snow-covered ground. The wolves pounced on him in a flashing tempest of teeth and jaws. And as they tore through his parka and even closer to his flesh, Josh had to laugh. For as bleak as this looked, it was still like puppy time at the local petting zoo. Really awkward ending huh? Please comment, and thanx. Hi-Pinky(because my penis is purple.)

If I wasn't listening to music right now my mood might be different. Anyways, here is another thingy I wrote in my spare time. It's cool cause I already have a song out of it and it actually sounds kinda cool unlike the rest of our stuff. "My Process" I don't know why you left me; I'll never feel the same. The loss of you I'm going through is driving me insane. The mistakes that we embrace and memories from our past; Are just too much to handle and I fear that i won't last. The clock is ticking my mind is up I feel like I just might blow up. And when I think of what I did My Process starts all over again. I am tormented and I feel dumb The stuff I did has caused no fun. So I get down on my knees and pray In hopes I find a better way. To help me hide this pain inside, But in doing so I don't feel right. So as I pray to the Lord up high I ask him for my wings to fly. And when I get them I won't frown. Cause the day I learn to fly I'm never coming down. I know that last couple of lines sounded kinda cheesy, but oh well. Hi-Pinky(because a drunk elephant is funny!)

OK so last night I was kidnapped by my friend Ryan's cousins and some of their friends. So all in all there were four girls and Ryan and I. We ended up going to Pizza Hut and spending like $30.00 to act like a bunch of morons, but it was kinda worth it, I guess. But hey, they had the "Unplugged" CD by Nirvana there, so that was kick ass. Afterwards we went up to Stoked where no one was, So once again we left. At this time, I really had to pee because I was in the back seat with three other people and I was being squished against the door and someone else. Just then, Ryan's cousin lent over and kissed me, really randomly(if thats even a word.) It felt kinda awkward because every 10 seconds after that, she kept saying she loved me, and so on. No more than 5 minutes later, she kissed me again and I guess I had the urge to go back at her, so I did. It was honestly the most awkward kiss I have ever had. After that, we went to take Ryan's cousins home when their mother called and asked who was with them and when they were coming home. Of course, one of Ryan's cousins said my name and now thay are grounded for two months from everything, including me. Long story short for you all who don't know what happened two years ago, I got expelled from school for doing something bad, and no one ever lets me live it down. So as soon as I even half way feel love, something shitty like that happens, again!!! Trying to bring up my mood, I finally could not hold it in anymore, so I was going to pee out the window after kindly receiving a blow job from a girl in the car. Guess who was driving, Ryan. lol. Turns out I didn't do it because I didn't want to go to the Vincennes Department of Correction for peeing out of a window. Good thing because it would be another stupid thing on my record. Oh well. Life's is a trip. :) Hi-Pinky(because I love Mountain Dew a lot!)

"Missing You Know" I'm missing you now, I never sleep Too many drugs, I cannot think This time rewinds, I feel the same We're all innocent and no ones to blame. This i smy lifestyle, it's redundant enough Too many courses, too much stuff Cannot do back time, but only rewind My thoughts of beauty, control my mind. I don't feel love, I don't feel shame Life to me is a boring game Of roll the dice, get lucky Or don't smile and feel sucky. Temptations on the table, why not try? For fear the inner you might come alive Realize the truth, see it my way Everything is the same, each and every day! "Let's get high and never come down."

"Nothing To Say" For all the pain you've caused me For all the times that I bleed For all the things I have seen How can we ever be? So much one can take It's tearing my heart out Fighting for a hopeless sake Only dying right from the start. Caught in a traggic fate Torn so far apart Those that you foresake Are dying inside your heart.

Yay, the band might actually be going somewhere. That's right, the Trailer Park Kids are coming to your town, maybe in a couple of years when we get really good. Man I am full of it, lol. I found out a couple of weeks ago that my dog comet, has a tumor the size of a fucking baseball. It is that new kind of tumor right beside the stomach that you can't prevent from happening. It's called Hemangiosarcoma. I told my parents like a fucking year ago about that damn lump on his side, but they paid no attention to it what so ever.That is all I have to say.

Well today was fun, not! I had to go with my mother to get a haircut with no prior notice. What if I had plans or something. Ok nevermind that one. After our haircuts, she said we had to wait an hour at Smiths air-conditioning place for my sister to show up so we could all go to see my crazy ass Grandma. She doesn't even deserve to have the "G" in that last sentence capitalized because she is so fucking crazy and annoying. She talks to god under the blanket, wakes up screaming because birds are flying through the window and bugs are crawling all over her, and just some more weird shit like that. But no, my day isn't finished just yet. Before we went to see her, we had to go to a fucking craft store and I hate every single craft store(I don't quite know why though.) Finally, we went to Newburgh to get some food because I cried like a little baby for food. lol. After that we finally go to see her at Angel River Health, and there she is, in the Rainbow Room(corny huh.) She was talking to herself saying shit like "Yes I finally got rid of that EVIL(laugh) nurse lady." She is so crazy, but I guess it's only because she has dimentia or something like that. So oh well. But after we left there, we had to go to wal-mart to search for some more craft bullshit, so I just waited in the car, for like an hour and a half listening to the Offspring's first CD "Smash." Kick ass CD by the way. Something about that moment had inspired me to doodle some really random stuff on a sheat of printer paper. Don't ask me why, but I had so much fun and the time went by soo quickly. It was just soo cool, cause for some reason I'm never actually happy. I have never even experienced that feeling of happiness. I've been joyful, but not happy. That is until I doodled. I loved it, because I felt like a little kid with his shirt off in mommy's van. Give me a pen and some paper and I guess I can actually be happy. I guess that was the emotion I was feeling tonight. It was pretty cool. It also kept me from thinking about Cresten a lot. So if I didn't show up with an amp and my guitar to church tonight like I promised someone I would(mumbles franzfreak), I am sorry. Maybe next time.?

So here are some great quotes I either heard or made up. Have fun! :) "Wonderful Quotes" "Sometimes being alone doesn't mean that you are lonely." "Is the cure worse than the disease." - One I made up. It would probably make a great part in a song or something. "She hands onto the side of the building, trying to escape the FLAMES of her life. The wind whips at her hair. Grasping is now way to live. I wans to live open-handed." -Another thingy I made up. "So then I said, "If you are waiting for a PERFECT boy/girl, you'll be waiting a long time." "She sat, and sat, and sat...and patiently waited for her name to be called. The blank walls were so peaceful. The room's vastness wrapped around her like a blanket." - Another one I made up, I think its pretty spiritual though. "WHAT DOES YOUR MIND SEE?" Hi-Pinky(because Punk will always live!!)