I actually don't know why im typing this entry... but it keep you guys updated on how I am, depending on who reads this, if anyone reads this... and if i typed this out, then that means im still alive (that should be good enough for you right now.)
I feel like i'm slipping. All reality is hushed and i have no song to sing any longer. I've cried every night for awhile.. even when surrounded by friends, "it" eats at me and I die a bit more.
This entry is pathetic and thats how i feel... i'm striving for nothing and i'll never get more than a passing glance (anything more will make me want more).. (who the fuck am I kidding, I already want more).
I've lost all faith in the word "forever", and all hope in myself. They say to be strong, but I'm losing grip of reality, I don't know how strong I really am for this.
This isn't just about him... but almost everything in my life is in a freefall as well, and I wasn't prepared to face this alone (I didn't think I had to...). People say i'm not alone, but when i told you, you're everything, I wasn't lying.
Now im busting out sad music, pouring my heart and tears out, trying to find comfort in this unfulfilling life, knowing it will never be how it was just a few days previous. Everything was perfect for me just a few days ago...
Now i'm broken down, and the knife that was already in me was twisted (they should have aimed for my heart). A pierced heart bleeds faster than a broken one (and slow means suffering, better make this quick).
In all my experiences, i've never felt this way before... but why does everyone focus on the negatives? Why did it have to be this way? It would have been much different now because i've learned from my mistakes... but it was because of them that I have no use of this sad knowledge.
Out of everyone i've said I hated, everyone that i've put down; I'M THE ONLY ONE I HATE NOW. (people tell me not to.... but you would hate me too.)
Deny me the time of day... deny me the moonlight at night. I see nothing will change, and my loneliness still remains.
I've never wanted something so badly in my life.......
hhaha see you tonight hot shit♥
dont hATE youserl cuzzzzzz
dang i cant even spell anymooooo
oh man
man. dude if i was up in thurr id have like a freaking jar of pickels and shit and we would munch on those babies and cry together and be sad as fuck and maybe take a few shots of tequila (id make an exception) and man..then we would go and shoot people or maybe just rats for fun...oh man
feel better... go for a jog! :]
i dunno KRIS!!!!
dun DUN DUN
i totally remember this layout from a long time ago
mmmm memories :]
dick...
alot!!
i hope you have the shits foR WEEKS!!!
rawr!
hahahaha
happy new year.
PUPDATEEE!!!