My dog got too sick to take care of. She wouldn't eat or move hardly so I took her back to the emergency vet clinic and she was diagnosed as being ketoacedonic. It would have cost over $1,000 to treat her. God, I was so upset. There wasn't anything else I could do, so she had to be put down. It's all my fault. I'm so irresponsible. I feel like the shittiest form of life around. I've fucked everybody over because I'm selfish. I just am. And you'd think my boyfriend would be there to comfort me. He called me when he was done with his bowling tournament. I went something like Jason: Oh, I miss you, I wish I could be there to hold you Janette:I miss you to. Let me fill my car with gas and I'll be there. Jason: I'm supposed to go hang out with my friends that are almost all female in Georgetown. Janette: (silently) You are a fucking idiot. (melancholy) Have fun. WHAT THE FUCK? I'm near hysterics and you're going to go hang out with your friends in Georgetown. It hasnt even been 2 weeks and already you suck. I'm not going to break up with him just yet. I'm going to make him fall in love with me first before I rip his heart out. Until then I'll just fuck my ex, you like that shit for brains? Ew, wait, no. I tried calling my friend James to see if he could offer anything. He's not answering his goddamn phone. So, here I am. Lonely as hell and angry. I guess I deserve it. I want to hurt somebody so bad.