I hate the rain. It's since cleared up and is rather nice and cool outside, but I still hate it. Rainy weather makes me so depressed. It's like if the sky can't be happy then I can't either. I know thats a rather simple way of looking at it, but thats the only way I can explain it. I'm so lonely. I know to everyone else I must sound rather needy, but I stay in one room 90% of the day with a tv, a bed, a computer, and a few magazines strewn about. I don't talk to anyone that actually lives in the house, and I don't want to bother my friend(s) by calling them around the clock (believe me, if I could get away with it, I would.) I've taken a massive step back to when I was 17, not in school and 50+ miles away from all of my "friends". I was trying desperately every weekend to see them, I must have bugged the shit out of them. I know I did. But it was the only way of getting away from that depressing room. I could get away from my depressing life. Ever since I quit my job, this is how it's been. I thought it would be better for me, I thought that if I stopped working I would be able to study and get my equivalency. That much has helped. If I started working again I would let it consume me and not want to study. I am getting closer to my goal, and in the fall I'll be able to get a job and resume life. I know I'm just bitching, but this is just so frustrating. I would go out right now, but I want to hang on to the precious little money I have. There's stuff going on this weekend thats going to require gas for my car and possibly food, so I'm going to try and not spend it. So yeah, I hate my life. To you this is probably typical Janette bitching. I don't care.