Last night my boyfriend made me watch Phantom of the Opera with him. It was awful. I did not enjoy 2 seconds of it, but he did. I tried to sleep through it but I could not because the music was loud and horrible. But I always have fun when I'm with Jason. It's sickening. I went to the doctor today and I am now being treated for depression with Lexapro and *excited gasp* Xanax! No more panic attacks that make me vomit. I'm just too anxious over Jason and over my job and my future. I've been a mess since I let my dog die, work has sucked total ass, and I've been racked with guilt over Josh. I mean, I didnt do anything wrong and he just reacted badly to the breakup. I need some me time. I've been thinking about planning a weekend where I go to Houston and visit my friehnds. Just me, no Jason or anyone. I miss them, I feel like my time with them has helped me become who I am today, and I cant just leave them behind. The people here in Austin are cool, they're just too busy and I need my fwiends. Nobody knows me like my friends back in Houston do. Or did. That is if they remember me. I talked to Jason last night about my neurotic relationship fears. I think I scared him a little. I need to back away a bit and just observe how he reacts to me. Does he call me or does he return my calls, does he initiate us hanging out or is it just me. I dont want to get too into a guy that doesnt seem to care as much. I do like him, but do I trust him? Am I just being cynical? I dont know. Perhaps what I should do is just chill, take it day by day and just enjoy when I do get to spend time with him. Dont get too heavy! Okay, I am going now. Must get up and open tomorrow.