I assumed..and i thought through it all. I thought i had it all figured out He never cared he just didnt care. I wasnt worth the effort.. No one will ever want me, im not fuckin gonna make it through this I know i gave my heart and soul and put everything on the line for him and in the end i was the one who destroyed myself I told him today that today was the end of the line. I want answers now or never and what the fuck. I thought this whole night that he never even thought to call me. Not once...not since i told him i wasnt going to call him anymore, that he had had to call me... because i was fed up with being the one to have to do all the work to salvage anything and the ONE TIME THE ONE TIME!! i need my family to come through for me... i learn that he tried calling at 8:14 PM He made an effort... i tried to call him but by the time i found out, it was too late, he left... what the fuck... All for nothing... That pushed me over the edge... i cried and slammed my fists on the ground for a good 5 minutes.. im not good at crying. I feel like im dying inside, more than ever... It feels horrible..the only thing worse would be to know that he never tried to call At that point i dont know if i could live with myself People keep saying "stay in there, things will get better, i promise" People promise empty fuckin promises That noose is looking mighty good. But i dont want to die. i simply want to run away from it all...never look back..never deal with my pain again Facing it head on isnt doing me any good. I want to kill myself but i dont want to die...does that make sense...? But i cant blame Talon for all of this.. ...only myself... i realize that now...