I'm so confused and I don't really know what I want right now...actually I know exactly what I want...and I can't really explain what I am doing other than that I am trying to find comfort in places that I don't really want to get it from because I just want to feel that again. And I can't have what I really want right now because I'm not sure if what I want is even possible for me to obtain at this point in time. Megn tells me to go for it and if it doesn't work out at least you know...