i don't understand the point of coming back and saying sorry if you're just going to leave again. there's no point in telling someone forever if you're not going to mean it. don't blame it all on me. i don't blame it all on you. i know that i'm not perfect. i'm not exactly what you wanted. but really i never had a fair chance to be what you wanted. you told me yourself that i was different. you were different. you want crazy. i'm crazier than before. you want to party. i party more. i'm sorry that i have priorities. i'm sorry that i'm focused and making an effort to put my life back together. i'm trying to keep my heart in one piece. you make it difficult. i gave it all to you. and you threw it back in my face like it was nothing. like i was nothing. like nothing that we had was ever real. it never meant a thing to you. maybe if you make someone fall in love with you and give it up, then it won't be so hard for you to just get ass wherever and whenever you want it. you're not that guy. you're better than that. you had dreams. you had plans. but some shiny new toy comes along and you drop everything. twice. and both times i was something you dropped. you'll blame it on me. because i ended things. but i know when i'm not wanted. you have changed, but i still know you well enough to know when you're not interested. you never wanted me back. you like the idea of me. you just wanted someone to have around until you found something better. but of course you didn't have the balls to admit it to me. it's easier to just stop talking to me. right? you'll tell me i'm wrong. and you'll turn it all around and try to make it look like my fault. is it my fault that i told you those were bad people and you wouldn't listen to me? didn't they screw you over? is it my fault that you fell for that whore's stupid tricks? is it my fault that you wouldn't and won't have anything to do with me? the only thing i'm guilty of is loving you. with all my heart.

it's a good thing i no longer believe in love. or forever. it's a good thing i don't trust anyone so there's no chance of me being hurt anymore. not by you. or anyone else. it's a good thing you're twelve hours away. i never have to see your face again. because i know you don't care to see mine.

but lucky for you i still believe in keeping my word. i promised 'friends no matter what'. i promised that nothing could ever make me hate you. i promised that i would always love you. i don't make promises i can't keep.