Club Veg (To the tune "One Week" by the Barenaked Ladies) It's been, four weeks since you slept with me, I was horny both turtlnecked and angry. One month since you looked at me, said, come to bed I'm ready get over here and bang me. Four weeks since you polished me, parked the pink cadillac and held the sausage hostage. Too long since your pigskin bus drove in to tuna town and lost most of its luggage. Blue balls I got a back log, I gotta jack off, burp the worm and spank the monkey. I get flustered so I tussle with the love pump the make the slug jump there's a lack o rump a pumpy. I yank the doodle, drain the dragon, I miss the shaggin', so I sit and cuff the puppy. Beat the bishop thad the rabbit, choke the sheriff or while he's waiting for the posse Goin' pop the purple pimple wax the weasel pound the flounder stroke the pope and toss off a batch of orphans. Gonna flick the stick or slam the ham jerk the gerkin take a shake and break and then manipulate the mango. (chorus) I can't help it I go white water wristing, all I need's a night of indoor fishing. I choke the chicken and I don't know how to thank ya. Is it any wonder now that I've become a wank-a. I have a tendency to bumpin' Mr. Cyclops, I have a history of punishing the pope. It's been four weeks since you've honed the bone so I tenderize my beef I tussle with my muscle. Long time since we drove it home, gotta slap my happy sacks around and do the knuckle shuffle. One month since our privates talked, there was a time when we'd grind every night and it was so fine. Now I plant the seed and jack the bean stalk and I dully try to shine what's mine until I go blind. Punch the munchkin....bop the shank Pump the python....yank the crank Check the dipstick....butter corn Take a quick trip....around the horn Shine the cobra....tame the hog Chokin' Kojak....pet the dog Ah!