Well i was solomy just going to write about my past relationships in this chapter but fuck it. This one is just about the last one. I cant believe i wasted 3 years and 11 months of my life. I don't think a guy in the history of men was as dedicated as I. To be honest i now absolutly knowingly in my heart Hate her, Yes HATE. I dont even hate my father but dear god do i hate her. The world is a rough place as is, The guys today do not treat there women right, there are the rare few. Sadly i am one of them. I was dedicated to the bitter end, but blinded by love. I feel as tho i was nothing more than just a fuck to her. Just a toy to yell at, put down, abuse, Use. Here is my story. Things were good for oh say a week, untill she decided she Doesnt like my friends. Why? because they are women. So of course thinking out of nothing i chose to cut them out to show im dedicated to her. Do i get a thanks? No. Its not even acknowledged but in turn USED against me in fights with rediculous remarks that "I was dating them" Fuck seriouslly? Chill. That carried on till my 18th In which SHE ruined out of her selfish rage. Cause a girl she claimed i liked cause i looked at her was in the room. And She claimed i liked this girl for months... Meanwhile i did EVERY Fucking thing to prove to her i was her man, that i was never going to leave. I wrote her notes, i made her cards, i wrote her poems, i showed love to the extreme But no... I was still an asshole, i was like every other guy. I started to believe this... I got a total of 5 notes from her with words of lies, i could tell her words meant nothing and that she was NEVER willing to go out of her way for me. I gave up 2 jobs, Rona, and Olive Garden for her. I had to give up my good Friends Corey, Gougan, Justin, Rob, Jake JUST because she didnt like them. I had to give up my family because she didnt like them. It was at the point that i had to walk with my head down, couldnt look at other women, couldnt look at the TV when they were on. i couldnt look at books that had them on them. I was a slave. I was abused. I got called every name in the book. But i still loved her to death. I was to dedicated way to blinded by love. But regardless i was still an asshole, like every other guy. I was an asshole when i ended up in the hospital two times with Anxiety attacks and minor heart attack. I was still an asshole when i found that cat with you and regardless of my severe allergy to them and how i couldnt breathe at night i was still an asshole. I was still an asshole when i stayed up late to write to you, draw for you and miss work to see you. I was nothing to you, i was just a toy. You had fun doing what you did breaking me down, Taking everything away. Sure you had problems in the past but you went out of your way to hurt me. You took your past out on me. You made sure i was blammed for everything. You were the worst girl friend in the world. But i loved you unconditionally. After all the names, after the multiple break ups, after the "your a fucking asshole" rants, after the Glenn was better than you, OR telling me you wanted to go back to him. I still loved you. But than i realized something... I keep giving, and giving and giving... But never getting back. When i said i loved you i ONLY got "you to" What the fuck does that mean? so what if you like the band do you love me? No. You crossed the line with rediculousness when we were ON a BREAK. When i told you i needed time to breathe and get some air to sort shit out BECAUSE I WAS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE BY PROPOSING. Yea i was going to fuck up that bad but hey you did it for me, YOU did everything you acoused me of doing. Went to the bar, met a guy, got his number and of course plastered it on Facebook. Your a bitch and i hope your hurting cause you lost the only guy that would ever treat a girl like you right. I truthfully regret ever dating you, or even getting your number. You will never change, your life will only revolve around you and your materialistic ways. I hope i opened your eyes not all men are assholes, But its the Self- centered bitches like you that TURN THE GOOD ONES INTO ASSHOLES. But no i will not do what you want me to, i will still treat women with respect and regretablly keep moving on. Will i ever talk to you again? I pray to the gods not. I pray to God and every force of good and evil we never see each other again cause i will most likely spit in your face. Exactly what you have done to me. In end, I have learned alot every women i have dated has either hurt me to the extreme, cheated, beaten, abused me, or just used me. I have not met a decent girl with a good head on her shoulders, and im beginging to doubt there is one out there. I am giving it one last shot but if it turns out to be nearly as bad as the last sad excuse for a being... I am done. I now know Love is blind and truley wondering what Love is? I thought i felt it with Brittany... but Love should'nt only be about one person BITCh