Chip off the block

by 22activeguest
For the last few days, ive just been sitting here, and awkwardly thinking in depth about my past. Mainly my failures in life not knowing why... well until now that is. Looking back on my childhood, when my dad walked out on me, lied to me about where he was going... than boom gone forever... just another allusive figure in this illusion we can life. Than he went and died.. bastard.. Regretting alot of my younger years... when i was a little monster of a child bullying kids... Christ... i did have anger problems and i sure did suppress alot.....alot Vividly remembering my struggle with my weight when i was younger to.... i dont know why this is all coming back to me... dont know why. My past is haunting me perhaps? did i do that much wrong in my past? Let my dad walk out, torture kids... eat it all away? Perhaps its my past relationships? i didnt learn much from them except there is no such thing as love. It's a one sided Illusion played with the mind. To think that warm feeling was love... rediculous... it was just my soul being torn out bit by bit.... I want to think im a good person... but i know im not. sure i go out at night and stop petty crimes, maybe aid in an arrest.. help a homeless man or two. But what good is it when my past is a burden on my back? weighing me down....
Read 9 comments
sounds like you're someone this world can't afford to lose; i don't think all these people ^ would BS you about that. i do hope you're all right.
I second with Justin. You are have oodles of character and goodwill. Just because you're not fighting bad guys doesn't mean you're not just as important! People like you give the underdogs of society a second chance. Bless your soul.
Yeah! I think you are right :p
x
Oh, and looky here:

http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/news/videogames/343
Well Steve, I don't know much about your past, but I do know that you are one of the greatest people I have have ever known and nothing you've done previously can change that.

You have inspired me to take initiative. What really hit me was that you've been helping people in all sorts of ways for years, all on your own agenda and at your own expense.
It took me almost three years of university education to achieve the mindset that you have had all your life.

Almost every single person I know is too self-interested to even consider the state of others (just look at our food drive), so people like you are scarce. People like you show me that there is hope. This place NEEDS more people like you.

So let us forget about the past and work on forging and contributing to a positive future! I am certain that if we work hard enough, we can raise awareness and make an impact.

Or, you know, what Kyra said!
[dra]
Fuck the past!
Your past may have such a heavy influence on your future, but you've decided to take your past, and better your future because it was such a troubled one, instead of wallowing in it. You're doing something ABOUT it, and I think that's pretty damn heroic to me, and the people you go out and help.
[dra]
Things that you did as a kid don't have to be a reflection on your adulthood.
Everyone does things that they aren't proud of but you seem like you realise they were mistakes and are making yourself a better person...more than I can say.
Be proud of yourself x