anywayz, well i couldnt finish because the people who were twiting my mind n heart n such were in the room, i doubt they were aware what i ws doing, matter o fact i turned round at one point n they were passed out, still wanted to be cautious this town is killing everyone i feel so very distant from most every single one of my older friends bris a fucking backstabber while all the others were getting high that night as i sat there starring into the flame wishing i wasnt there since i really dont have any fun with them anymore, mike happnd to let a piece of info slip, something bri told him... which i told her and expected would be kept secret im fucking sick of just having my trust shit on, ive never gone around telling people her shit when she told me stuff and then she acts like i have no right to be pissed at her at semi when i was gunna bitch her out but didnt cuz i wanted to be civil in a public place grrrrr... but back to the fire night i cant help but be reminded of things evertime im with them... how thing happind and hearing how they view each other and how they think of others buts still act differently than what they want, it doesnt make sense to me on the walk home things were wierd elier preston bob and me i havent been civil with bob for many moons i cant stand him... his character and sitting on the bench after the bridge the way things once were... idk hearing them talk, aboput how none of them believe there going anywhere i cant take this they still think im well rounded i failed 2 classes dammit, and im not even athletic anymore... even if hadnt become... then i still was never good enough to go anywhere with that im not in the top academicly either anymore ive fallen, the once great all knowing, best linemen of the class 07 has fallen and how ive come to know them is diferent too i most of all wanted the least change and have been forced to face the most but yet i cant make myself speak my mind ever i cant tell them how i think of them how i dont want to make up with bob, and the lil of me that does only does in order to keep a peace with the other two and how i dont see preston as my best friend how i feel he stabbed me and twisted the sword how elier doesnt need to think the way he doesnt and all of us have faults how i hate adrian rodriguez now, how i dont miss him anymore because i have realized how manipulative he is, and how we were always just his puppets things were always his way or no way i dont miss him im glad hes gone but yet so much more in my mind... but i can never come to tell them... i always want to but never can im too weak i suppose im just glad ive at least found a new home in the friendship department but at semi n after i got a rather uneasy feeling i wish i knew what to do i feel really stupid and clueless and i dont want to be