A quick recap of my life in the past few weeks would go somewhere along the lines of.. I've spent the last few days in the hospital. I was having very withdrawal-like symptoms even though I've been clean for over six months and losing weight really rapidly, although I was eating like an elephant. We are still unsure as to what caused this, however I am on the mend as we speak and going back to work on Monday. In larger news.. I have found that I do some of my best thinking and writing in the hospital, ironic I know. I have found that being confined to a bed causes me to explore my own soul in a way that I am unable to do while mobile. After some good rest and soul searching I wrote James a letter. It went for seven pages and told of all the things I had held inside for the duration of our relationship. I told him the details of abuse I had held back when I spilled the secret at fifteen. I admitted everytime I slept with men to make a buck, when I promised I was being faithful. I told him how hooking, like herione and my various other drugs of choice, had become an addiction, and that I was done with all of it. On Thursday he came to visit and wheeled me out into the park next to the hospital. He sat on the bench next to me and read the letter. I watched with a heavy heart as tears fell and hit the pages of my letter, my lies. It made me sick to my stomach to watch, but at the same time it was a beautiful sight. I waited as he neared the end of my appologies, terrified of his reaction. Instead of telling me how dissapointed he was, or that these lies that I had held inside for so many years were going to be the end of what we had, he turned to me and asked me to marry him...