James and I woke up early this morning and went down to the water to watch the sunrise. He held me and we sat for the longest time just staring out into the sky, I can’t remember ever feeling that safe, the way I feel when I am in his arms. I realized how badly I want to feel that forever more. We may not have much money, belongings or family but we have our love and that’s all I need for the rest of my life. On that note we decided to get in the car and go. We drove for hours until we reached the house. James came to the passenger side of the car and woke me by kissing my forehead through the open window. I knew I’d have the strength to face them. So I opened the car door and stepped out. Already I felt that house and all the pain it holds for me. Dad came to the door when he heard us pull up and stood completely still for more time than was comfortable. I knew what he was thinking; how happy and healthy I look, how James was able to get me clean when he couldn’t, how good it really had been for me to get away from him and the stepmother…how he had failed me. And it’s true, he did fail me. In every sense of the word my father failed me, but I forgive him, so I jogged up the sidewalk and gathered him into my arms. I felt him tense up at first and then melt into the unfamiliar shape of my body, this was how we should be and he felt that. Before I knew it we were inside drinking tea at the kitchen table, the stepmother busied herself at the sink so as not to have to look at me while I regaled them both with the stories of how James proposed and the day at the beach when he presented me with my ring. She didn’t want to see how happy I was, how much more happy I am than she will ever be. It felt good to step out of that house once again and I sensed my mind trying to fall back into that time, when all the walls held was fear, but I kept it back. With memories of the morning spent watching the sunrise and the feeling of James’ fingers intertwined with mine. I’ll be okay, really.