Raven, I know you told me to avoid your past diary entries. But something about them caused me to worry. I felt the dredded feeling in the pit of my stomache...the feeling that I hate so much. I read your entry for when we spoke on the phone for 8 hours and how you wished it was Charles instead. And naturally, I felt hurt. As if everything I had said and done at that point of our relationship meant nothing. The point is, Raven, I don't want you to hide things from me. Including feelings. I understand Charles broke your heart...you two were together for a year and nine months. But there's nothing I can do about that. The only thing I am capable of doing is being there for you, making you happy, and showing the love you deserve. I am your boyfriend. And now, I don't know what it is that you are missing or what it is that I could better help. Raven, you are the one girl I've ever felt the strongest for. I can honestly say that I love you. You brighten my day when I hear your voice and you make me feel like a better person. I hope, I really hope I can make you feel the same. And I know you've said otherwise, you've expressed your feelings to me several times, but such diary entries as the ones I read make me question things. I do not want to question the things I've said or done. I don't want you to either. I want to be someone you can love, lean on, and talk about everything with. And alot of that has been proven, but at this point...I'm somewhat confused. I understand you were confused alot. Especially over the relationship with Charles. But I hope you do not have mixed feelings about me and you. That what we've done together, what we said to one another....meant nothing. Cause everything I've said and done with you holds a very special place in my heart. A hole you helped fill. You know me better than anyone....and I do not want to give up. I don't want to give up on the love we have for one another. I do not want to be your boyfriend for the sole reason of getting back at someone. You've said that our relationship wasn't that, but until you can tell me everything...I'll try to believe. I'll try to believe that I actually matter. Raven, I love you. And noone will take that love away from me. Yours, Wade P.S. I may be overreacting. I could be. Especially with what has happened recently. The feelings, the emotions, I hope everything we've done has been worth it. Atleast, I think so.