OK well ummm, no I would not say that said person, whose name shall not ever be mentioned on the internet, was flirting. I think that thatparticular person high drugged up or lonely. There are a lot of people that try and interact with me in strange and inaproppriate ways and not because they like me, i hope. But honestly I can see why you said that. I cuold be wrong but chances are I am not.

Well, I Have the dark look in spirit of Halloween coming up. Though you might like it, even though it isn't me at all.

You guys like my new look? I do. It is the closest to smoking marajuana I havve ever been. Plus the whole mystical/ faery thing just amplifies it. One day I will project a whole buch of these pictures on the white house and then dance around madly and twirling! That'll be the day... I also feeds my need for green. I love green. Green and a psychedelicly violent salmon color too. It makes my brain grow! I secretly want green hair and purple eyes, but that would be a little distracting for some people. PLus I did look like THAT, THE ONLY THING I would able to do would be to spin in circles really fast and laugh out loud. Does anyone else ever feel that way or am I just crazy? Does anyone ever want to dance just before a thunderstorm. NOt in the storm, just before it. Or dance with lightning? Hmmm.. maybe aI am crazy.

Well well well... Whatr a year this is going to be with so many things unfolding. Some are quite amorous. Such a as Todd loving Jenny. Tis so sweet... Plus well me? Oh well, for those of you who know me it is kinda out there. Espcially why I have such strong relaitonships with like 5 girls. It comes naturally. I can speak girl :) If ya catch my drift. Personally, I don't know why I didn't tell Todd. I mean he was like the last one to know, and I am not sure why. I mean he would be one of the more accepting people about it right? My whole family knows too. My parents are NOT cool with it and drives me insane. La Torutura de mi alma. Look it up if you don't know it:) It is just a phrase, not a song to be confused with shakira! Besides I am not too worried, only a few people ever read this journal thing anyways. I am not sure how to deal with this. The code word for my liufestyle is "popcorn". In case you are wondering...

OK i am so POed at theses guys that started this little fight with me. Ok first of all they live behind my house on the hll and one day their freaking PARENTS drove them down to our yard and the entire family got out of the freaking car and tore apart our apple trees! That is trespassing you bastards! PLus you defaced our property! So then saturday at the footbal game one of the kids from that family and his friend flicked me off and poured mountain dew on me and kept calling me faggot and homo. So i was freaked out and shocked. I was with Jenny and Salisa and I didn't to start something. ( Plus I am such a pansy when it comes to violence!) So I walked away? Then when my friend Beth heard, she went with some of her boyfriend's friends and confronted them. I felt love, but like baby! I mean my female friend had to stand up for me cause I couldn't do it myself! I feel so ashamed at that. Did I do the right thing by walking away?

Lately with the family drama/soap opera I have felt really empty. I dunno, I mean I can just act like normal and all, but I feel indifferent, ya know? Well, I don't wanna be all "OH look at MY problems!" I mean who even cares about my diary? NO one really, except Maybe Todd and Jess, which is totally cool, but my point is that I am typing to pour my own feelings out you know? Like when people pretend to write letters to get their frustration out.

Ok, I know it has been a while since I have updated but still, so much has happened. Ok! First things are just going really badly at my house for reasons I will not disclose! So I told my dad I didn't wanna go to Tomahawk. So he said ok and then he was all sad behind my back, which by the way is perfectly fine, but then Ashley and my mother got all upset at me for not going. They played the complete guilt trip on me. THE WHOLE FRICKING NINE YARDS! RRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I don't want to go to summer camp and everyone hates me. They knew exactily how I was going to react, they have been livving with me for sixteen FRICKING YEARS!!! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! They have stripped me of my own choices, which is one of the worst things those FREAKS could ever do to me! I mean, sure I HAVE HAD FUN at this camp and boyscouts in general, but things are getting old and boring and tumultous. Then I decided to go for my selfish, self-centered parents who cannot with all those years of life experience think of my goals and happiness in inb light of recent and HORRIFICALLY tradegic events!!!!!!!!

I am taking my drivers test this Saturday, AGAIN. I hope I actually get it this time! If I don't get it the second time I will shoot my self, or better yet the instructor! I have to get it! I need it! By the way,does anyone know where I got my pen name from? HEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE...

I am totally cool! I have been to a lot of friends houses lately! Actually only like three, but that is like a major improvement from my summer life! I am doing great ina lot aof aspect of life. Life is just good. I could still use more social involvement. Huge advances in sp! Oh, I am a little tired of work. Aw! Beth will be gone for like the rest of summer! :( I will miss her so much!

OK tuesday at work was HORRIBLE! We got out of there half an hour late! It was partially my fault, but when I was passing out drinks to the residents all these people kept asking me to do little favors. "Oh! Can I have some more of this?" "I don't like strawberry, can I have vanilla?" "I don't want it" "Get me some skim milk now!" Then Liam comes and tells me to do dishes when I wan't even done Serving the drinks out! Then I had to keep running back and forth to get stuff for indecisive people. That is what caused us (Dianne, Liam, and I) to be out 30 minutes late. Plus, he told me to mop, but kept telling me not to do the back half of the kitchen, even anyone could tell it was super filthy. Then he took the mop away from me and finished really sloppily after telling me I wasn't doing a good job. It was so irritating!

I have been working at my new job for like 3 days. I am working at the nursing home as a "dietary aid," which is really a fancy word for everything that goes on in the kitchen. I Probably said some of this already but I will say it again; (I know everyones life REVOLVES around mine and will cease to exist without it, jk :) I have worked with Judy the superviser, Chanteaul the girl, Jake the good worker, and Liam the not-so-good worker. Oh and Susie, the 40 year happy one. It is actually kinda fullfilling because at least I am doing something and getting $$ for it! Plus, I HAVE NO LIFE. (P.S. If I do not talk to a classmate soon I will die!!!!!!!!) Now I know so many people have had worse and more difficult jobs than I, but I am gonna whine regardless. It is always so hot in there, and every solid object is most likely 500000000 degrees celsius! I keep burning my hands putting away the dishes. Plus there are TONS AND TONS off all these little idiosynchrasies going on too, like " Sunny always gets the plastic spoon," or "Blah Blah steals his diet card." SO MUCH TO REMEMBER! My shift is from 3:00 to 7:00.

I didn't pass... I am so disappointed. I could not even come close to parallel parking. I am gonna die.... Oh well! I did get a job! Guess where? the nursing home! Now I know what you are thinking, My dad is administrator, isn't it akward? Well, yes and no. He treats me normal, but I feel akward calling my boss dad. I am a dietary aid. It is a fancy name for a dishwasher/cafeteria worker. (whoo-hoo...) I will enjoy the money though :) I am gonna start thursday, with 5.70 an hour. It is a start.

Ok, remember that entry where I was all "Boo hoo?" Well anyways, I re-recorded myself except this time I sat up nad went over all of my posture positions, took a deep breathe in my lower abdomen, and sang like I was trying to bounce the sound off the walls. It sounded so much better. So I guess I proved to myself that I don't TOTALLY suck, and who knows. Maybe with some voice lessons and pratice I can be a really nice singer. I will probably never be a superstar, but I am ok with that... for now :)

Hey kiddies! I am taking my drivers test tommorow at exactically 10:30! I am so happy about it and also nervous. I am not so attentive when I drive for long periods of time. (aka driving to rice lake!) So I could very possibly fail! :( I would be so dissapointed if I do! Hopefully I will make it because this is a big right of passage. Yesterday I went to Todd's party which was a lot of fun and Sean Nolan didn't show up after all... oh well. Peter Hall did show up and that really suprised me cause well, nevermind. He only stayed for like 20 minutes though. It was fun, especially when we played that Turrock game. I love dark matter grenades for those of you who even have a clue what I am talking about :) I did have fun overall.

I am so happy, we have no more school! (till next year) I am so glad. No more dumb homework! YES! I have some goals for the summer: To get into better shape To advance one level in piano To sing everyday in a desperate attempt to not suck at singing I hope I can complete these! I am saying these outloud so I have stuff to be accountable for! LOL! I already miss Beth...:) We need more foreign people here! Why can't the Thai kids be here! By the way, I really love the super big selection of wonderfully creative adjectives! I mean, I feel "GELATINOUS"? LOL I love it! Oh and um, there is that Todd's party thing I am going too, I thought there would not be many people there but for some bizzare reason Sean Nolan might come. Probably because Jesse Sorenson is coming, but I mean, Todd's "sweet sixteen" is going to be hijacked by Jesse and Sean! Knowing them, they will crave to be the center of attention...Maybe not really Jesse, but I mean look at Sean. He is really nice but he is kinda, well perfect. Perfect in a way that he considers himself to be bending down from heaven to talk to us, he just speaks politely. Actually, I ma probably just really jealous, but still...

Hello there. I just had a reality check. I recorded myself singing and it was well...horribile. I always thought I was a good singer, but I guess I am not. You may be thinking, "so? Big deal. So what if you can't sing? A good number cannot sing." Well the simple fact is that I was banking on that for a reserve to fall back on. I had fun because I thought I was good. I am barely OK. Why didn't anyone just tell me to shut up?! I really suck... and I won't be ok until my coping mechanisim/denial kick in. I dunno, maybe it was a bad day, but I think not. I mean, where am I going in life? I have no exceptional musical talent. That is what I want to be though. I can't be in science because I suck at math which is so closely tied in. I mean,what is really left?

Ok, here is the deal. I honestly do not know what to do. I know it is not going to help anyone to scream or scold, so I won't. Honestly though, why can't we all just quit being stuck up. Look, we ALL have our fears, insecurites, etc. They are ours, and only to manifest themselves in self improvement and the counsel of others. Sam, Todd, Jenny, stop. Stop right now and forget it. You are all lieing, gossiping, backstabbing. I have done it too and I regret it. Can we please just let this go? Todd, you seriously need to be quiet. You deserve much for your cruel and unthinking comment on Sam's family. Jenny, I wish you would just explain what your deal is. I mean honestly, I ask you to and you do not other then " blah blah, angry, toddd is evil." That is not an explanation, that is a motive, and an unjust one at that. Sam, you need to learn to not talk behind peoples back so much. I have done it too, and feel bad about it. If you don't like Todd tell people who share your interest, not me, I ma still his friend. I have see these two sides fight and quarrel with me mediating, sometimes openly, sometimes secretly. YES, secretly. I know, you are probably really mad buthtink about this: I saw you guys fight SO bitterly and I had to solve it! But it was unclear how to act, and my attempt failed. So when I tried again I had to lie to keep my motive hidden till the right moment when it was fixed. Still, it failed. So here I am now, realizing that I am just twisting the knife when I try to pull it out. Sam, Jenny, yo uare being mean and do not have any right whatsoever to say and do things about Todd and no reason, personal or religious will justify it. Let go. Todd, you are the victim here, but you are doinga really bad job. YOu insulted Sam's entire family. You denifintely were very wrong and should apologize. Sam's family is just firm and their beliefs and you should respect that. Such sureness, whether correct or misplaced, is a rare asset. They cannot truly affect you so just let it roll off your back. Lastly, for myself, I was even more wrong that all of you and am truly sorry. Anyone who is angry at me, I totally understand. Just remember I wa only trying to fix it without friction and I made a mistake. I wanna say sorry to Jenny,for being jerk. Sorry to Sam and his family, for not being there. Sorry to Todd for ever involving other people in the first place. Sorry.

Jennifer Ashley Roberts! What in heaven or hell is your problem!? You have been freaking out on me lately for no particular reason! I do not care if it is because Todd, your brother, George Bush, or North Dakota! You hav absolutely no reason to be angry at me! You think I lie all the time!? I don't know why you think every little thing I tell you is a lie! If this isa personal issue that is serious, then I am sorry for over reacting! But if you don't have a damned good reason being so mean then you had better back off princess! I mean it, with all the pointless drama everywhere I am sick! So, to everyone, If you have an issue go get a tissue and leave me out of it unless you need my help!

Please note that the below description is only for Sun in Aquarius. Every person is so much more than their sun sign. Refer to our Astrology Basics to learn more. Or have us do your report, where you learn more about what makes you unique Sun in Aquarius You are independent, friendly and analytical. Others can think you odd because you seem to follow your own beat and don’t give a care to conventions. You probably get a kick out of this and take it as a badge of pride. You like to be unusual, to try and see things differently from other people and to take the road less traveled. Although you can be quite practical and efficient you are at heart an idealist. You have many broad and lofty ideas about life and live by your own code. It can enrage you when others expect you to conform. You are not one for traditions because they bore you and besides your pretty sure you know a better way. The only real authority you respect is your own. Authority, following it and respecting it, can be a problem for you. These attitudes can lead you to be arrogant, unreasonable and unpredictable as you can often change your mind. This isn’t a wishy-washy quality though. When you do have an opinion it tends to be very firm, yet you can be very open minded in recognizing new ideas and incorporating them into your way of thinking. You value freedom; freedom to express yourself and live life as you choose. One of your goals in life is to try and sway people to see things your way. You are also a very friendly person and would rarely be described as shy. You can talk to just about anyone about anything. Most the people you know are acquaintances as you rarely form deep and lasting friendships. You are a humanitarian and tend to see everyone as equally valuable. This is a great quality but it does tend to limit lasting personal relationships when your siblings or love interest is as important as someone you just met at the supermarket. The lesson of an Aquarius is to form close personal bonds. You need to recognize that although everyone is equally special and has a great role to play in society and human evolution, people need to be appreciated as the individual they are and loved for it, not just as another fellow human being. Your high idealism and dedication to the brotherhood of man is of great value but can be cold without any personal involvement. That was just for fun! And it was! OK I just finished my solar system project! I turned out so great. It was going to be a sloppy crap project but it isn't any more! I used lots of stuff and cranked out a nice one! I know, I know, I must serious sound nerdy, but I worked for like 5 hours on it! Seriously! When I was looking up signs is when I found my signs thing. I don't know if I am an aquarius in sun or not but it actually was pretty accurate. Then again, maybe I confrom to it.... lol, just kidding.

Ok here is a fun thing: What's Your Personality Type? Your #1 Match: ENFP The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller! You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist. Your #2 Match: ENFJ The Giver You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed. Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections. Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down. You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine. You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist. Your #3 Match: ENTP The Visionary You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression. You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything. Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off. You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments. You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor. Your #4 Match: INFP The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist. Your #5 Match: ESFP The Performer You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others. A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic. You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally. You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic. You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor. Ok that is what I got out of the personality test! I was really fun! Second of all, there is A big thing with people and Todd. Personally, todd is still my friend and I will stay out of it for now. Ok so, really I mean, does he deserve so much pain for a little choice. Just let him be. Let bygones be bygones.