to destroy, annihialate. to get rid of, despose of. easy said, and easy done...if the right choice of person is made. done, no more... can this be the end? what happened to love? conquering all? what happened to the underdog, winning accomplishing, fighting against all odds? no thats not true, why? waiting waiting, just praying. why? faith, belief, and hope. why? fear, dependence why? lack of confidence, needing assurance. why? home grown.. but alone i see reasoning the cause the explanation.. evaluating thinking..feeling...and eventually...knowing.. gaining...grasping....obtaining the need grows larger.... faster getting...stronger

wait just, dont leave. this is not it. no, running out. cant wait. patience is limited...mm almost gone. slowly...steadily...going...going going...fading away

not here, never there. just gone..what? hmm nice website..kind of odd.really..just smile :D show some teeth! can it be anymore obvious? im not sure. whatever the manner...matter... matter= the stuff thats stuff..ooh yeaaaaah chem. "i wish i can eat your're cancer" that would be nice. if only it were true..a genuine action of generosity love etc. finals arent great..neither is watermelon. this song is nice...hmm wonder what it means. starts out soft and smooth...creamy i guesss..and ends up...well..ye..HOW...hayayaya hayyayaya hayyayaya. that peter pan movie.not the remake...the original..that was an enjoyable movie...yup the mermaids were cool..and the little clock bomb thinger..oooooh you bloody dissapoint me.

it was me b-day yesterday...and well...yup... it wasnt what i expected... blah blah blah..same old crap...yup i got those cheesy thoughts..of yes...thats right "enlightenment" ...hmmm coming of age kind of thing...sure..why not.. im going to miss all of this. when i get older...the sky wont be this blue..neither will the sea...and the trees...the trees...the breeze...everything...everything will change. for the better of for the worst? im not sure... just enjoy and appreciate everything.. its there for a reason...so... yup.. enjoy it while it last...dont think about how long itll be there...just enjoy it...dont ask questions..dont hassle with it...just enjoy it! -blue

bleh bleh bleh.... going to go to summer school on wednesday...augh thats going to be a mofo..... man! found out some interesting facts the other day... changed me... for the better or worse..i just dont know... cant trust...cant tell...cant and wont just leave it forget it or at least try lies and pure deception, hidden agendas, with cruel intentions im done, i dont care anymore...i dont want it anymore.... im done. trust... that was a good movie... funny...really...how a young mother can meet an older man...with a grenade...which he has...just in case =/ well...here we go -pao

well... a long long time ago when i was going out with people..i questioned why older guys? well it just so turns out that i know exactly why....mhmm....they're stupid.. sure this may sound like a little seventh grader speaking...but you know what? ITS TRUE ALL GUYS MY AGE ARE IMMATURE... but then again... if they were mature, what would be the point of dating someone your own age... mhmmm im dumb..and im ok with that...im immature and its going to be fine... yes.. just fine..so dont cry... dont whine... this is exactly what i should keep in mind...mhmm well im going to have a lot of time on my hands so i might as well just rant: everything that ive done has been a waste. all that i have avoided.. has finally come. i didnt join all sports that i wished to join because i didnt wish to compete. i didnt turn in essays poems to i wouldnt have to compete.... i hate competing! i hate being obligated to do activities or anything i enjoy doing! augh! it ruins the whole point of freedom! it contaminates everything!! anything! i felt obligated to paint i felt obligated to play any instrument i felt obligated to write i felt obligated to have fun... therefore not making it fun.. hmm just contradicted myself..but you know what? ...yea...thats right...its coming.... FUCK IT ill learn to play my damn instrument whenever the hell i want ill fuckin paint and enter whatever the hell i want in the damn competition ill choose to enter the damn chalk competition if i want to! ill write whenever i feel like it! and ill have fun whenever i want!~!! control- to limit or restrict the occurrence or expression of somebody or of one's self. i will not express this to anyone... well.. i will restrain myself... yes... i will not share this current mood... thats control -pao ps. technically..i did express this... hm how about i dont express this to anyone... face to face? yea? ha why not!

hmm...lets see... virgin mary was pretty .... well it was a new thing for me still not sure of status tys still calling punk wont leave me alone green still sees me stomach still tumbles... stress relieving praying drives me insane deprived of meditation and medication just leave -pao ps. ha! i thought they shut this site down...boy i was wrong take that adam!

greetings my sitidiary, jans is gay tetys acts gay whats there left to say? shall i bitch a bit? perhaps i shall.. sick of "myspacerers" that only add because of a bloody pic. wtbh? one too many request! for example: Thom: yo, wut up? can i hav ur #? Ben: lookin good on the pic ma, thanx fo da add. nick: love your picture, what method did you use with the bw? ------------------------------------- BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH SCREW THEM ALL! MUAUAHA!!! -PAO

life has been given!

well, i had my fun this week mhmm. had my ups and downs..yeah..point of story..hmm well...move on with life just because you have the opportunity to do so. whats wrong isnt always right when viewed differently. logic- an answer that contains no emotion fantasy- an answer which is not proven and is made of pure emotion mmk cool -paola

whats there to say? nada....yup...nada -paola

today was their funeral..great right? yes :)id say more..but then again, whats the point? everything will be the same so...meh -paola

three guys from my town died yesterday.. seventeen ninteen and twenty one...they were soo young.. -pao

i made a really really ridiculously stupid decision on friday.. but its ok :) i know exactly what will happen next. im just happy i just went through it and didnt chicken out like she did last year :) yeah. im tired of being soo moody. the problem is that i cant really help it...there something odd going on with me...0.o and no its not pms..gr... hahaha! hmm point of story.. i did it for me..i dont care if she and i ever see each other again, as long as i know i tried :D im fine. yeah! she made the attempt last year so im pretty much compensating for her deed..yup -paola

ah, the same old stuff. yeah, i said stuff, so? my hon eng teach gave me a bubble pencil. pretty awesome..yea. -paola

everythings fine lol. yup :) im over him lol. its all good. met two new guys, wont be speaking to them much longer lol. for many reasons...-_- dont even wish to talk of it lol. oh well. -paola

hm, theres nothing much to write about 0.o at this moment..everythings just fine. im not in a relationship with anyone and im ok with that. hmm it took me a long time to realize this, but i just need some time to be FREE! LIBERATED AND ENJOY LIFE ON MY OWN! SURE ILL BRING SOME FRIENDS ALONG, BUT HELL IM GOING TO BE HAPPY! fun fun! yes ok...:P haha no more love hurt paola! no!! out with the old! :) its time to just enjoy! sure i still feel extremely insecure all the time, but who doesnt?? yeah..thats right! "Is this what its supposed to be like? Is this what its supposed to feel? Like a roller coaster? Like a lifetime's emotions squeezed into a single minute? Like heaven and hell, sweet and sour, light and dark...? Like losing your mind?" -paola

perhaps i was a bit vague the other day... well i have written it in that way for many reasons which will not be ...said written etc. yup yup! now, to the present! there was a fight today! it was sooo freakin cool! three whole seconds!! wo!!.............(i was being sarcastic lol :P) i believe thats is extremely stupid of people... get in trouble for about three seconds of shoving...pfft pathetic... im not trying to egg them on, im just saying..if you want to do something and you say you will, why not just do it? you know the consequences. if you say you dont care of the consequences, why did you stop? ridiculous! ha funny thing, this was between two fresmen lol. oh well right? could of happened to anyone..right??? it gets even more ironic... see the situation is..well my ex "hooked up" with a close friend of mine which it notorious for being incredibly easy. hell, i bet i could get her in bed LOL xD ha im absolutely kidding! ha but yes, i guess you can call her the walking vagina...or std which ever one you prefer XP man i mean.. ha its all in good fun :D! well..the thing is, my ex...he has a smart mouth and so does my friends ex...so their going to battle it out on friday... to make the picture a bit more vivid think of this: a tall tree branch against a tree trunk....-_-boy! what fun!......... my cousin is a close friend of my ex so he's going to try and talk him out.. mmmmmmm pie :D! haha sorry well yes, hmm should i say anything? meh i dun know.. if he speaks to me, ill tell him what i believe etc. lol yeah. on other news, yeah.. im here and im ok. :) love, paola

second chance..where do i start?... -paola

i read a book today... it was 359 pages long. it was worth reading all that... it made me feel... somewhat..crappy... im going to get a drink.. -paola