On Livejournal.

Well, I'm going to try and say this the best possible way I can. I'm sorry. I don't think you even come on here anymore, maybe you do, I'm not sure. It's all I really can say, I wish I could say something else, and truly express how bad I feel for the way things went. I want to be your friend again. I don't think you want that though. I realized something. It's probably too late, and I feel so stupid for realizing it now, when I could have realized it before and everything would have been okay. It's the reason why I stay up at night, not able to sleep. I never got the chance to really apologize, and to understand you. Now I must live with this forever.

I must say, this has been one strange week. A race on foot to KMart, which I won. (Though I did not get anything out of it, except the sheer enjoyment of owning my friends) Some random people telling me I suck at COD, right before I get three headshots in a row. One of my friends is also trying to sex me up. Not gonna happen, sorry. Someone showing me kindness (WTF?!?) Me flipping out over nothing. I say, it's all rather unusual!

It's late, I can't sleep. At least I don't have school in the morning. In the past week I've come to realize something that has probably changed my life. Maybe even for the better. I don't want to talk about it though, so don't even ask. I hurts to think about that. I'm going to be turning 18 soon. Maybe I will buy some porn for the hell of it. Probably not though. What would I do with porn? XD Don't answer that... I hate not being able to sleep. I happens a lot. It's probably 'cos I think so much right before I go to bed, and I often upset myself with my thoughts. I really have to stop doing that... What? Guys can be emotional too. =]

I feel sick alot. I don't know why. I've kinda stopped eating too. I've also felt kinda depressed lately as well. I don't know why that is either. =/ All these papers for school are killing me, but I suppose in the end it will all be worth it seeing as I will have a nice GPA in the end. Things still linger on like always I wonder to myself where it will take me in the end... I hope it's somewhere nice.

Does anyone even still come and look at what I have to write? Probably very few. I don't think that you understand The things we say are not always the things we feel You need to think before you make mistakes That someday may end up to link the reasons Why we do the things we had to to One day maybe you'll Prove me wrong and do what we do. I wonder sometimes why, And then I answer my own question.. ..So I can succeed.

I hate William

Those of you involved, will feel my wrath. You know who you are. You know who I am. We know each other. And I promise you: You're actions against me and my kin will not go unpunished. Maybe pubic lice would be the most appropriate form of punishment here.

So my mom is in the hospital. She had her operation and that went fine. But now she has an infection and they won't let her out. I'm really worried And very stressed because of school. This week is going to be bad.

Things are going nicely with Rachel. I'm going to meet her mother on Thursday. Oh boy. School is boring and easy. I have to put forth some effort, but otherwise it's a breeze.

So I have quite the predicament on my hands. This girl I know, whom I suspected of liking me does not in fact like me, and thinks that I like her. Great. Now I have to tell her otherwise without it being awkward.... Not gonna happen. I also am suspicious of another girl. She might like me, she might not. Either way, I sense this unfurling into a huge problem...

You're a bunch of shitty friends. You really are.

I've never felt so alone in all my life. I wish it didn't have to be this way. But if it will make her happy that's what I want. It's all I want. She deserves to be happy for once.

So it's a wonderful new year of highschool. Having to deal with a bunch of retarded kids and self-absorbed teachers is always loads of fun. I can't wait till I can go to college. Maybe I will be free from it all. ...maybe not.. Speaking of college, I still have to figure out where I am going to apply to. I'm still pretty sure I'm going to try for BC. If I do that though, I'm going to need to raise my SAT scores a bit. Better hit the books Mike. Erin comes home in a few days. It will be nice to see her. I miss her. Plus I'm taking her out for a dinner and a movie which is long overdue. I feel terrible about that, but it's my own fault. I have to see my cousin sometime. Good luck finding someone who wants to take me to Scranton.=/ Anyway... Yeah that's about it. P.S. We learned about how the universe works and what it's shaped like. My mind is quite baffled trying to picture it. It makes me wanna be a cosmologist...

Yes, it has been some time since I updated this stupid thing... So whats new? Well I have a History project due on Friday, and I have 4ish out of the 7 pages I need. Plus I have to give a presentation. Also I have a Chemistry test I have to study for, and a History test too... Academically, it's going to hell. =/ And what else? Erin. That one special girl in my life. The person who makes everything feel okay, even when it's shitty as can be.. Well, she's having a bit of a time. I guess shes kinda scared we're gonna turn out like her last relationship. I feel bad, because I would never cheat on her, but no matter what I say, she can never really trust me. I just wish I could make her feel better. Also, she seems to be afraid of commitment too. Ugh =[ Sucky week =/

Erin = In Florida Mike = Lonely and sad Oh well. She said she will call at least. Tonight I had a falling out with my best friend, over something so stupid, and utterly ridiculous. Everyone else agrees he needs to get over the topic (which involves Erin), but noooo... He keeps calling her a bitch and shit like that. I'm really getting annoyed with him. I don't call his love interest a bitch, or any other derogatory words. Why the fuck is he doing it? Can't he just let a sleeping dog lie? Rather stupid if you ask me. All over something equally as stupid. If this little affair doesn't go away soon, souls will be eaten.

Yeah, so I was thinking about writing a book. Thinking, mind you, not saying I actually will. Why not? Well... I would be using the book as a means to show everyone that they are living a false reality. My friends might not like it that much. That's why I refrain...Yet still, people should really be informed of their current status. It's only fair that they actually know what is going on, and what it's all really about. Right? Well, if you're reading this you probably have no idea what the hell I'm talking about. Probably for the better. I was also thinking about writing a few other books. Some of these may actually see the light of day if I happened to bother to sit down and write like I'm doing now. Hmm Maybe my topic for book number 1 is very dangerous to write about. I mean after all, I do possess a knowledge that I want to share, but knowledge can be divided into two words: Know and Ledge. Probably warning me that if I tell everyone else what I know, I will be pushed off a ledge. Sigh, I can't win can I?

So yeah. Today is my birthday. Everyone is making the usual big deal out of it. I took the American Mathematics Contest today. Most of the problems had to do with trig, which I know nothing about. I guessed on quite a few. Haha..It would be funny if I ended up scoring the highest in our school. But anyway, because of this, I miss 1st, 2nd and 4th period. So, after Health class I proceeded to see my Chem teacher. Alas, no homework there, just a lab. Then I went off to see my History teacher to inquire about any possible homework. He greeted me, instead of saying "Hello!" by saying "Why Mike, today is your birthday! I have your card all made out!" I thanked him, and asked if we had any homework. Turns out we didn't, but he did give out a packet with a poem we were going to read in class. (Psh, me read in class. I think not!) I kindly thanked him. The bell rung. I asked if I may have a pass. He gladly gave one to me, and wrote on the bottom so my English teacher would see: "TODAY IS MIKE'S BIRTHDAY" I took the pass, thanked him once again. And proceeded to English. I handed my teacher the pass, and sat down. He began with his usual introduction, and announced that it was my birthday. He shook my hand and saluted me. Then Lucie decided to get the whole class to sing the traditional birthday song to me. My face reddened. I wanted to die. Embarrassing moments FTW! After school, Erin came over and I got to cuddle with her. I love cuddling with her. I love doing pretty much anything with her. =] Anyway, she had to leave my house rather early, so I was stuck here by myself. I miss her terribly. *sigh*

So we continued to do our PSSA's today. They are really gay. I also took a chemistry test today. I think I did rather well. I'm also getting suspicious that a certain girl I know likes me or something. It means nothing of course, but I still find it amusing. Erin insisted that I update this. I'm always on, but never really feel like writing anything. I don't really have a lot of stuff to say. Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......yeah And so on. Yeah.

Woot! No school today! I am most happy. This does mean however, that I have to sit around and study all day, plus clean my room. Oh joy. I've recently been thinking about setting up the old computers so I can set up a nice little network. Maybe even have a file server? Who knows... Right now I'm on a quest for hard drives. Woot!