R and I found a really nice place to live. The neighborhood is really great. It is within a gated community that is tucked away and I am fairly convinced that not many people know about it. Which is good. It would be like an hour walk to get to a bus stop or to grab a cup of coffee, but it still would be sooo worth it. We have found our new home. Just him and I working together to see our dreams become a reality. No more negativiy and no more drama. It is no longer welcome in my life. All I want to do is build a foundation of success in family, friends, career, goals, dreams, contentment, bliss, serenity, peace of mind, purpose, health, growth, healing, happiness and love. I want to leave that legacy. I feel it will be soon. My time here is coming to a close and I must move on. I just wanted to thank you for playing a part in helping my dreams and goals become a reality. Thank you for being there for me and supporting me with loving strength. And thank you for continuing to do so. I'm going to need it for the days to come. I know that this is a test. Everything that is reminding me of my hardships from the past is staring me in my face. I will get through it. I will be strong. I guess my problem is that I am still fighting. And I am still fighting because I am still holding on. My lesson might very well be to let it go, move on and don't look back. I am trying. I am. It's very hard for me to do. I've conditioned myself to react in a specific way, because it served it's purpose to protect me. Ironically, the more I try to protect myself...the more I am provoked. I need to remember that this isn't real. None of this is. I am the main character in my own movie. But, what I keep forgetting is that I am also the director. None of this has to be if I do not consciously choosing it to be so. So, the real question is, why am I choosing this? The truth is, I am tired of playing part in the victim role. On the other side of the coin, I am tired of being victimized. So, where do I go from here? It would be easy to ignore all of this mindless taunting and provoking if it wasn't right under my own nose, my house and in other words my sanctuary. How can you run from something that lives with you? I know. I get it. This is the Universe's way of pushing me to grow. I'm fighting growth. And that is why I am stagnant in this hell. It is my own personal hell that I have created. Although, it is coming from another person; the power lies within me. I have the power to change this reality. I may not be able to change another person. But, I can still change me. I can grow. And I can move on. Thank you, again, God for believing in me. You've reminded me to believe in myself. I love you.