It is strange to me that something as simple as a bag of skittles could me so much to me.Let me explain this.I came home from work tonight and Kelly met me at the door,then as soon as we came upstairs to the bedroom,she handed me a bag of my favorite sweets(skittles,,I love those things)Out of no where.I wasn't expecting anything,plus I thought that she was still mad at me from an arguement we had earlier today.(our first)But it means so much to me that she would care enough to; one,remember how much i love skittles, and two, think enough of me to want to surprise me like that.No one has ever done anything like that for me before.This is all so strange to me,that a woman could or would actually think enough of me to be so nice.And I don't understand why.I mean all my life I have been a fuck up,no matter how hard I try to change it.What in this life time or any life time for that matter could I have done that was so right as for me to deserve this type of woman?I don't see what she sees in me,but it seems like she truly loves me.I don't think she's just feeling sorry for me or anything like that.And I don't think it's because she feels like she should because it's what others expect of us.When I look at her it seems 100% genuine.I pray that it is because I don't know if I could take being hurt like that again.I have let her in far more than any other except Levy,and to be crushed like that again would literally kill me.But the strange thing is that the conection that is between Kelly and I seems stronger that the one that I shared with Levy.I actually feel like this may be what my entire existance has been leading me towards.That all of the pain and sorrow,all the failures and searching has led me to this point in time.That I may now rest and learn of peace,joy,and true happiness.To be able to truely experience love,and to actually be loved by some one else.