Albert Einstein was a very clever man who split the atom, discovered the Theory of Relations and invented a way to pick your nose without anyone noticing. Because of this last invention he was given Nobbly Prize for being a Genius. How he split the atom is easy to explain: he went out and bought a kilo of atoms, then left them in a paper bag by a bus stop so that a bus ran over them. Much more complex (and therefore harder to explain) is Einstein's Theory of Relations: this says that an aunt in the hand is worth two cousins in a bush. It also uses Pythagoras's Law, which can be explained as follows: Once there were three brothers in the sioux tribe in the American Wild West, Their names were Little-Nose, Big-Nose and No-Nose, and they were in love with three sisters from a neighbouring tribe. These sisters were called Rose Petal, Dandelion and Dewdrop. The girls' father, He-Who-Sits-On-A-Cactus, agreed that the brothers could marry his daughters, but only if they bought animal skins for his daughters to sit on as marriage presents. Little Nose dutifully turned up with a present of a buffalo skin for Rose Petal, Big-Nose bought Dandelion an antelope skin, while No-Nose gave Dewdrop the skin of a hippopotamus. The three couples were then married, and later on each of the three women became pregnant. When the children were born Rose Petal had a baby girl, Dandelion had a baby boy, while Dewdrop had twins - one girl and one boy; thus proving Pythagoras's Law that says: the squaw on the hippopotamus hide is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides. This may not be a lot to do with Albert Einstein and his Theory of Relations, but it's a lot more interesting...