Yeah, I did it. I finally told my boyfriend that I cheated on him. Thing is, he's not really mad at me. He's angry, but he's directing it at the guy that I cheated with, not me. Well, obviously I can't expect him to be happy 30 minutes after I told him I slept with the guy. I'm not going to say who, although I'm pretty sure everyone already knows. I'm still good friends with the guy; well I hope. I thought we were but now my boyfriend wants to cut his face up. Understandable, I guess, but I'm not prepared to let him beat him up. I still care about the guy that I cheated with. I still care about my boyfriend too, but we have alot to talk about. I'm going over to his house to talk to him, and I'm kind of worried that he's going to hit me. I guess I'll deserve it if he does, but I'm still afraid. I feel like my life is a soap opera at the moment. But I was on a break with my boyfriend at the time, and I thought break means "broken up"? Apparently, to him it meant otherwise. But then what is the point of a break? Yeah, I'm a pretty big asshole. Things happen for a reason though, and I guess that's what we are going to talk about today. Hopefully we talk, and it doesn't turn out to be a huge yelling match. I really don't want to get hit either. I don't know how he can say he still loves me. He says he doesn't want to be mad at me, just the guy. He said he doesn't love the guy, he didn't spend two and a half years with the guy. This is true, but he also can't just allocate all of the blame on the guy. So am I saying I want him to be mad at me? Kind of. Well, I just don't understand how he said he wasn't mad at me. He just said the guy is a douchebag. The ackward thing is that we hang out with the guy. And he's a good friend to me. Obviously not a good friend to Ryan anymore, but they never were. They weren't much of friends to begin with; sort of just friends through me. Anyways, I guess I have to go and take the heat. Unfortunately, I've been avoiding it for 2 hours already and I know I have to go and get it over with. I still love him. It's insane. I still care about the guy, my friend and all. Well, I don't know. I'll just go talk about it, I suppose.