I constantly feel guilty for my actions and inactions. I want to help everyone, but myself. I'll give him everything that I have. He's my charity case. I'm his supplier. He's using me. But it's okay. I'm using him too. I hate the fact that I look at the ninja's profile at least twice a day. I don't know why. It's an addiction And an obsession. I honestly have no feelings for him anymore. But I must know what is going on in his life. And his new little Asian girlfriend's life. I have even gone as far as to hack into his account. I need help. And you're driving me crazy. It's what you do best. Please stop pretending. I stopped ages ago. I can't stand the game we play. The box is torn and the pieces are missing. It's time to throw it away. I need change. I want to move forward. It's time for the next step, don't you think? We've been stuck for three years. Stuck for so long that the weeds have grown up our legs And they're starting to strangle me. I'm dipping into my "Trip to New York" fund In order to buy some beer and vodka. My money would be better spent that way. It'll help me forget how much this hurts. My nineteenth birthday is in one week. Let's get drunk and forget I ever said this.