so i chilled w/ those sXe kids, one of who i know cause he went to my school, but we never talked in person, just on the phone and online, weird i know... ohh and he sent me pics of his penis via AIM i started to pack today... its amazing how much of my life im taking w/ me... it doesnt seem like that much but i feel like im forgetting something. i feel bad for hanging out w/ my friends and not my parents, but i think im gonna try and chill w/ friends all day and then hang w/ parents at night, i know its pathetic, but im moving... not just to another county, but to a whole other fucking state... called kentucky... why the fuck would i want to go to kentucky, i dont know, its just felt right at the time, and it still does... its just amazing that im actually leaving and working on my carear. last night i thought i was gonna die... i started to show the symptoms of withdrawl, cause im stopping before i go to college, well it was terrible... so i left beccas somewhat tipsy and dying... ryan met me at my house and gave me some pills that will give me the same high, but to only take them when i feel like that again... for those of you who think ryan is the one who got me started on all this shit, he is one of the few actually supporting me to stop... so thats the truth