i won't get into how late it is.. but it's pretty late. my car isn't working and i feel trapped. much like i always do. it doesn't matter if i get a new job, group of friends, or move.. everything is the same. i just wish my life was exciting and filled with adventures and romance. my ex's neighbor/childhood friend came into my work today and was talking about how i've probably been cheated on more times then i'll ever know. like i don't realize how stupid and niave i was for two years- thank you for reaffirming the fact that i was in love with someone who didn't give a shit about me or anything i did for him. and i've been trying so hard to just be his friend and forgive him for all the terrible things he did to me. but it's always in the back of my mind. how can you ever forgive someone who thinks it's okay to treat people like that. how can you take advantage of someone who did nothing but give everything they had to you. BLAH. who needs love anyway? okay, i do.. here's what i miss: i miss summertime and driving along with the windows down singing songs to each other; i miss naps and waking up and knowing we could still fall asleep together; i miss waking up to a kiss, with arms around me; i miss holding hands and the way my head fits perfectly on your shoulder when we lay down. i miss corny inside jokes and movies and songs that remind me of you; i miss having someone to bake little treats for- just for the hell of it; and i miss looking into someones eyes and hearing 'i love you' and believing it.