"do what you gotta do, I don't care what it is and I don't want to care anymore. if it will glorify your kingdom, then do it, you know i'll abide, so do what you gotta do" that may be dangerous, but I feel a lot better about what has been going on, and I'm okay, and i know that God is doing things the way he is for a reason even if I think its a really hard and weird way of accomplishing his will, I'm fine with it, cuz i know the end result will benefit me better than i can imagine I still really hurt a lot...I feel like what I believed in was broken and shattered and I don't know if that can ever be put back together...in all honesty, I'm not sure if it should be... Its okay, God is healing my pain...He's the one I need to turn to, which means I need to turn away from others.... I'm now more than ever commited to His will, and I mean that with all that is in me...But no matter how it is..I still think the same and feel it... I know I said it...but when I think about it more and more...I don't think I could ever be a sister again...I'm so sorry...