Lord....Why can't your timing be now? Why do I have to beat myself up over this junk? Why does he let stuff get to him so easily? Wait....why do I let stuff get to me so easily???..... Is this your will or am I too blinded by my own ambitions and desires?..... I really do believe its your will... You have only shown me confirmation for this to work out, yet I am still scared of being wrong...this is deffinetly a situation that no one would want to be wrong about... Would it be okay if your will is worked out sooner than later? That would be great!... Please just speak to us all...I'm trying so hard, but I don't know how much more I can take mentally, emotionally and physically... Then again...I know You will get me through and I really truly know and believe that this is all worth it... I need to give up this control and be okay with it...Its like, I love him so much and so because of this, I want to hold on as tight as possible...and because I love him so much I fear that you will take him so far away from me...that it is too good to be true Forgive me Father for still lacking so much faith It'll get better right?