Listening to: Mars Volta- The Widow
Feeling: crestfallen
What have I done?
Where have I come from?
When I burnt the backs with the sun through a glass
did I seal the loss that's become me?
Feeling undone
What have I become?
When I turned my back on you I turned my back on
myself and became this machine
Thoughtlessness
Selfishness
Hopelessness
Arrogant
I feel it on the inside
Twisting and contorting
Memory has shaped me once again
Still feel you on the inside
Biting through and stinging
Will I ever forget to remember?
Shadows in the sun
Filter through us
Still wrestle the demons that arrested me as a child
Confession rejected
We grow up
To give up
People step on the cracks for wounds owed paid back
Through the words of surrender
Emptiness
Loneliness
Listlessness
Worthless
I feel it on the inside
Twisting and contorting
Memory has shaped me once again
Still feel you on the inside
Biting through and stinging
Will I ever forget to remember?
Can you save me?
From myself
From these memories
Can you save me?
From myself
From these memories
Surrender
To the shadows
Haunting inside
Bleed through you
Surrender to the secretes...inside
Lies within you
I feel it on the inside
Twisting and contorting
Memory has shaped me once again
Still feel you on the inside
Biting through and stinging
Will I ever forget to remember?
Can't feel you on the inside
Set down the bag and left it
Lost memory has left me
One again
Open up the inside
Admission for the cleansing
Now that I've forgotten to remember
Surrender
To the shadows
Haunting inside
Bleed through you
-Mudvayne-
nah i dont get it as often as you'd think lol.
pink floyd is great, and yeah, even better with shrooms and acid. but the music is trippy anyway =)
i hate myself right now.
i hate everything
im sorry i get pissed so easily now.
i dont know whats wrong with me.
i just cry so much.
i cant stop it.... and stuff...
i just... need to know the truth about a lot of shit.
im so TIRED of being lied to.
really.
its just wearing me down.
i just cant handle anymore.
if something isnt done soon.. im gonna get into some bad shit, lemp.
yeah.
ahahah.
really?
oh god. a few friends. yeah a lot of aquaintences. but a group of a few closely knit people. thats my friends.
no. jacob. i know all that. i am happy for that shit. cuz at one time i never had any of that. you forget i lived in that trailer park too. with a crack addict dad. i know what life can throw.
and cresten's love is... well yeah!
but. its hard. im not accepted by my mom. she never... shes......
i cant... shes just crazy. that hurts a lot.
i deal with depression really bad. the same as a lot of you guys.
just cuz i got all this shit doesnt mean im happy.
i mean...
i gues i dont know what i mean.
actually my friends have a lot to do with it all.
theyre all on drugs.
and success?
only because i have to.
to keep mom from beating me up over a B in band.
haha. that day sucked.
but.
i think its more of the fact that all those i love have so many problems i cant fix.
thats what really hurts.
i dunno. i need to chill though. thats all. blah.
my friend made me this green tea with nutmeg stuff.
its great.
really relaxing.
haha
yeah.