so i dont really know how to describe the feelings that i've been going through lately. I misewell just tell you what's been happening and leave it up to your imagination and knowledge of my personality to figure it out. I’ll tell you about my mom and her new boyfriend and how I work out into their little relationship at the end. Me and Kaela have been attached at the hip since she’s moved in. It’s nice, really. I get to see her everyday. I don’t have to worry about what we are going to do when we hangout … or if im too boring for her. Because she’s the type of friend that I can just stare at a wall with, and when some one asks us what we did, we say we had a blast. Because honestly, we probably did. We probably sat there and stared at a wall and had the most in-depth conversation that we’ve had in a long while. That’s how good of friends we are. Walking around Horizons, hanging out with Este and Raul, walking through the woods, talking, attempting to skate. Random things can entertain us like 5year olds and bubble wrap. Or 15/14year olds like us and bubble wrap. Yeah, so what. We’re friends and really don’t care. So here’s things. Friday- school was alright. Came home and just got off on the backroads with Kaela so we didn’t have to ride the bus until the end. We crossed the little broken down fence, where of course, I fell. And walked into her apartment. I called the house to let my aunt know I wouldn’t be home. She wasn’t there. I called the mom. She made me realize that I forgot my aunt was working like she does ever Friday, and wouldn’t be there to get my little sister off the bus. I got off the phone with her, called the grandma, and made plans for her to come pick my sister up so I didn’t have to baby-sit. Sweet Deal. So me and Kae weren’t going to go to the game, but then had nothing to do that night. Partying sounded fun as hell. So that’s what we searched for. Ended up going to the game, hanging out with everyone. Talking to people I used to be hated by, and regaining friendships all over again. Good game. I hugged Cathy. It was the longest warmest and most sincere hug that Ive given/got in a long while. Yeah. Made up with Travis. It was nice. Then Marissa ended up staying the night with Stephanie. So we pretty much all hungout. Este and Raul and Coty came over. Hungout. Had fun. Este and Raul left. Coty stayed. They came back. Hungout. Then they all left around 3. Woke up, watched movies, pretty much a wake and bake. Went home around 6ish 7. Crashed at Kaelas. And went to bed at 6pm. Early. Woke up. Came home. And now it’s Sunday night. Cathy and Keith came over. Hungout. Yeah, it was a hanging out kinda weekend. My mom and her new boyfriend. Well there’s a story for ya. He’s a nice guy and whatnot. And I have no problem with him being with my mom. But she’s always with him. There’s not a day that goes by that he’s not here. And she wonders why I’m never home. It makes me so uncomfortable. Them, the couch, and tongues. It’s really fucking sick. He spent the night the other night. Yeah, she asked me about it. “Would you mind?” “No, do whatever, I don’t care” She fucking knew I cared. They had sex. And she’s only been with him for what now?? A couple weeks? Good example mom. Whore. I guess my aunt found a lighter in my pocket. She does everything in her power to get me into as much trouble as she can. Why the hell is she going through my room/things anyway?? “laundry.” Maybe next time she’ll find me on the floor, bleeding to death. And now here again, they are walking upstairs, together. I hope he dies in his sleep. not really. Cut, Cut, Cut. That’s what has been going through my mind today. And I have. I don’t care. I like it. And this time I don’t want to stop. I stopped last time because I saw how bad it was hurting my mom. And this time, I don’t want her to find out. But maybe I do. Maybe I want her to find out, and then she’ll actually realize how bad she hurts me on a daily basis. Maybe then she’ll wake up. Realize that there’s so much more to me than a “No, do whatever, I don’t care” Everyone’s pretty much left me. They’re here, but they’re pretending. Or maybe im just invisible when it’s not convenient for me to be there. People are such assholes.