He lays in his bed in quiet reflection with a pen and paper. so much has happened within the last year so many deaths the most recent of witch was his grandmother. She died just as every one was celebrating the beginning of the New Year. He felt utterly alone more than he usually did. All together there were five deaths from last year alone. The first was his great grandmother, than a close friend, than his grandfather, than another friend, then his grand mother. Need less to say he was alone . he now had no one to talk to . His family is grieving for the most recent passing. They are all figuring out what to do with the possessions and the estate. But they don’t under stand that there son is tarring himself apart. He barley leaves his bedroom witch feels like a tomb. He is only 17 and he is going to be 18 by the 1. He is a afraid to get close to any one you see he is shaych... (Loves like there self) And he so longs for a lover one he can share his feelings, hopes, and fears. But he is scared to get close to any one he thinks he will get hurt or he will hurt the one he is with. So he puts up shields that are as cold as ice. He is so afraid he ill die alone. He is always worried about something and he can’t do anything about it. He longs for the touch of another, to feel the love that was with held from him so long. He has come to the point in his life were he knows that suicide is not the answer, not that he hasn’t tried. He has 75 scars on his left arm from cutting. He is so tired of all the games people play. He just is about to go insane from every thing that is going on in his life. He feels like he is not in control of his life. Like a passenger in a car that is going over the edge of a presuppose and he has no chance of escaping. He does art but it all seems to laugh at him. The art that he so loved brings nothing but depressing memories of the past. So he sites in his room listening to angry emo music and heavy grunge/ Goth music. And he just sites there and screams into he empty house and blocks out the world. His soul is crying out but he wont let any one know.