I find myself clinging on to this windy city,but what is it Im holding on to. i can never make out what my mind is thinking when it choses for me to stay here. I have put myself in a situation where I call for friends and random strangers to take me in. lost that awful thing that gave me a sources of income.I find i have no responsibilities to others but only to myself. I have never been in such a state of life that Im in now. Im living off of cheap beer and boxed rice. In the beginning of next month im taking a small bike trip out to the place im avoiding the most. Ill be experiencing the corn fields in a whole new way. Ill be taking a different means of travel transportation that most would never think of doing. for what to find what i have left inside of me. to forget about a past love I dont know why im forcing myself to spend what money i have left to seek something out within myself. when to be honest its probly just a waste of my time and the worlds.