The warm sensation tingled all over my skin, as I dipped myself gently into the water tonight. It felt as though soft tiny finger tips were caressing my body, working away the pain of the day. As I let myself drift into an ecstasy of thoughts - lending themselves to you joining me tonight, a sudden pit welled up in my stomach.

The soft tiny finger tips gradually became an unbearable bed of nails, as the realization washed over me that you wouldn't be joining me tonight. A conflict grew in my minds eye as I considered whether or not I actually wanted YOU with me tonight, or if I simply wanted someone. Anyone. A sting grew in my eyes as I closed them tightly to crush away the heartbroken tears.

Taking in as much air as I could, I let myself sink into the tub. Engulfed by the foamy bubbles I let gravity drop away. I felt the memories of you peel away layer by layer, as I kept dropping further into the warm grasp of the water: as though purging you from my system. Time wore on ever so slowly, as I tried to muster the strength to break the waters surface again.

Surging through the water, I felt the weight of the world collapse back onto my shoulders. I felt like a pillar close to toppling, agony and despair rattling through my bones like lightening. The warm sensation of the water barely a memory, I stood up to face you again… Here I am. Confiding in a little space of internet oblivion. My heart is caged up, fighting to keep beating, fighting to give in. Conflicted beyond comprehension.

Said I loved you, but I lied.