Wow, 2008. This diary has gotten to know the sensation of neglect. Naughty naughty. Things change within this life, that can not be comprehended. Why is it, that life is a shelf? and the smallest of issues, are the grabby handed kids - that run in to the shelf, push and pull the shelf... Everything sitting pretty upon the shelf is affected. My mind is that shelf. Small tiny insignificant nothings haunt my thoughts constantly, and an ever consuming flame is burning deep within the pit of my stomach. The monster constantly speaks to me in a small hours of the night, and i find myself struggling with this idea of 'happiness'. As for 'us'. Our hands are full again, full of eachother. We speak to each other through touch, we replace words with heart felt clutches. Kisses come few and far between, we sprinkle them between conversing, sleeping, and dreaming of eachother. Our bodies fit together so perfectly. Too perfectly. The moments never seem to last long enough. The sensation of breath against my bare neck teaches me to understand the reactions of my body, towards this motion. It is still scared - i am still scared. Not uncomfortable, or fearful - but more akin to shy. That young, untouched, unspoiled Nivvy comes flooding back in to my being. She brings with her memories of the first time he touched me. Far deeper than flesh, than the butterflies, much deeper than looking in to his eyes for the first time, and expressing the love for him - not the love we 'fell' in to... The genuine love of each other... So deep he penetrated a portion of my soul previously inaccessible, to even i. It is an amazing journey - This journey accounts for the lack of entries in this little corner of sharing... The moments play back to me in sweet, slow rhythms. My head fills with drunk intoxication of fortune, and blessings. You're my sweetheart. Elivating me to a level of humble appreciation. Breathing feels more fulfilling than ever, my chest swells with a compassion. A pop occurs in my head, that clears the monster out. My shoulders are those of Hercules, and i can carry on again. Reflection folks. Always reflect on that special something/one. To even the fierce, it brings a soothing peace.