More like depressed and confused .....I do it to myself ....DAMN IT ....why why do i fucking do this ? i'm so FUCKING STUPID !!!!!!! I too attached to Trey ...and it seems he's barely hanging on to me ..of course he's out of town ..and i may feel like this because of it ..but .....he never calls me ....i know he doesn't like phones but hell with a family of 6 people ...i can't get on whenever i want .....i wish i could ....and so i call and call and call when i am worried or bored or if i just want to talk or hear his voice ... and Grandma keeps on saying your going to loose him if you keep it up .....and i know that...but i don't try .....he won't think i care ...damn butterfly relationship (hold on too tight you crush it ...hold on too loose it will fly away) Before i met Jeff i didn't worry about people cheating on me or if i was going to be dumped ...and then i meet him and everything bad happened to me ....and now i worry it's going to happen again ...Me and Scott's relationship went down hill ..some becasue of me but hell he moved ...it was down the drain and no way of swimming back up ....and he had hidden things from me while we were dating too ....i hope Trey is not like that ..i really really really doubt it but ....who can tell? i feel lost right now...just talking to him would clear so much of this fog ....in other news Dad's drunk again ...Brad and Grandma have to go find him because he took the car ...they should leave him wherever he is ..but they won't ....so i'm stuck watching Jake even though he is sleeping i have to stay up or Grandma will be pissy ....and it's mindnight 08 and i have to go to work tomorrow ....fuck ....life sucks today ...i really hope tomorrow won't get worse..Sam starts working with me today ..i guess that's good ....i think i'm going to make my diary public ..fuck this friend's only shit ..no one is bugging me anymore ..so why not well i'm going to change shit and try to keep myself up and also try not to worry about ...EVERYTHING .....