Today is Courtlyn's 7th birthday! Last night sucked so bad! I was drinking and I really wish I didn't remember what I did! But unfortunately I remember it all! Oh so nobody thinks I'm this aweful person. I had my baby on September 19, 2005 then last Thursday got the chicken pox so on Saturday when they really started to show I went to the hospital... they told me I had to get away from the baby and today's my first day back home. But yea.. last night was just really bad! Love, Jessica

I'm so confused! OH WELLS! it was a very fucked up weekend... Brian, Chadd, and Joe came over to Jamie's house and got drunk well Brian and Chadd did anyways! That was interesting... to say the least! umm.. yea.. 4 weeks left until BABY!! I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow... Jamie and Matt are going with me I think I'm going by myself tho! Jamie was sick today when I went over there and Matt will prolly be at work still not that I'm complaining about that part! I just don't want to go by myself! Well... that's all I got! Love always, Jess B.O.T.D.- roses

don't really know what to say I'm 7 months pregnant and feeling it. I'm having a baby boy and he's fat. well.. that's all love yas byes!

I feel really upset today for some reason.... I can't get Gabe, and Matt, and this baby off of my mind. I really wanted Gabe back in town but now I don't know. I already dated the alcoholic. and Gabe is addicted to gambling he thinks he's going to become famous doing it one day... but all he's doing is wasting the money he really doesn't have to waste. He only has 2 outfits here. He's living with his bestfriend and his wife. I mean... he could be spending his money a little more wisely! DON'T YA THINK! I don't know why I'm getting depressed about it.. it's his life not mine. We're throwing the baby shower next month. In exactly a month for that matter. I have to start sending out invites. Well.. I guess I'll talk to you later! Love ya byes, Jessica B.O.T.D.- Baby Gabey

love Bob

Nothing really new has happened since the last time I felt the need to write. Oh except I'm almost 4 months pregnant by well... none other of course then the infamous Matt! 2 days until my 17th birthday... yay rah! Matt's dad is making me a steak dinner for my birthday cause that's what I told him I wanted! So he's on his way to get me. . sorry I haven't written in so long.. basically I just didn't feel like it! Love a.a.f. Jess B.O.T.D.- having something to live for

this weekend SUCKED major ass! Friday I come home to Matt calling yelling and screaming at me to call homeless shelter's for him cause he just can't stand his brother anymore! FUCK THAT! Then he tells me he's taken all of his welbutrin (his pills) so I end up letting him go he calls me back like an hour later and we talk for a little bit and he's watching his brother's kids.. and he talks to Chadd who tells him his sister lost her virginity.. he didn't freak out right then I knew something was up. Ok so then I go to McDonald's and eat a cheeseburger.. get home call him back and his neice Jordan answers the phone crying... When I ask her what's wrong she says Matt started shaking really bad and then he just fell to the ground and he's breathing really fast and he won't answer me.. about the time she gets the courage to call 911 he wakes up and he's like I'm fine I'm fine so I talk to him and I was like what the fuck is your problem.. and he was like I told you I took all those pills and I was like that was 2 fucking hours ago.. and if you knew you took them all why'd you agree to watch the kids.. he says because I thoughtI was ok... so I get it now you're brother's worth dying for but I'M not worth living for fuck you Matt bye! And I've barely talked to him since then. I went to Jamie's house last night and we went up to Vincennce she got her right nipple pierced I watched that was interesting.. then Millie got her belly button and nose pierced... whatever floats her boat and I just got home like 2 hours ago and it's 3:21 in the morning now!! Well.. yea.. my weekend sucked hope everyone had a good weekend! Love always, Jess B.O.T.D.- McDonald's F.O.P.Q.O.T.D- I'm way to tired to quote anything word for word I'll do it later!

THAT WHICH DOES NOT HURT YOU ONLY MAKES YOU FEEL NO PAIN!* * * * * * * THINK ABOUT IT!

ok well yea.. I'm hyper... a little.. uhh... but apparently I'm not suppose to be happy (don't ask!) blah blah! Well.. uhh.. yea.. my world has revolved around MATTHEW PHILLIP NEAL for 3 years very pathetic huh?!?! he doesn't believe me and told me I couldn't get anybody to agree with that statement... people hate it.. they'll agree with it but they hate it! But I'm not as bad as I use to be! Well... it's like bedtime.. I need to go! LoVe, jEsS! B.O.T.D.- my phone F.O.P.Q.O.T.D.- COSMO- rock or timmy rock or timmy (looks at the rock) it's not you really it's me.. ok it's you!

you know I don't know what love is. Atleast that's what I'm told, is I'm to young to understand. Then why do I love so many people and at most times feel loved in return? Is it all a figment of my imagination? You know I feel like I'm losing my friends the ones who have cared about me the most for my own selfish pride.. but yet I don't feel selfish. I just want to be happy and they say the way to do that is to make somebody else happy but I can't. It's not my job I wish I could make everybody happy. but all I can do right now is be honest with people after lying to them for so long. Lately I've become so easily annoyed by things that used to make me laugh. I just want to be out of school and out on my own. My cousin has a countdown on her website I'm gonna talk to her and figure out how to get one on here for how long until I turn 18. Love a.a.f. Jess B.O.T.D.- Jen F.O.P.Q.O.T.D.- Cosmo- I'll never forget you Sue! Wanda- How's Sue doing? Cosmo- Sue?!? Who's Sue?!?!

wow I'm at shawn and lena's I'm so bored... I'm pretty pissy too! Shawn told Matt I was here so the odds are he'll show up here after work! I was supposed to go to the concert thingy last night, but I usually ride with Erika and I had the feeling she really didn't want me going with her. I have a feeling she really doesn't want to have much to do with me since Trey. Guess because I don't like him. it's a mutual agreement tho he doesn't like me either! Well yea the moral is that he was riding with her and yea.. but I'm going to the parade tomorrow but not to see him or anybody else in that damn thing.. just to see my baby brudder! he he! my dad gave my mom my $100 cause he forgot to go to the bank before she had to leave. So chances are I'll never see that again! Oh well... easy come easy go! Well.. I guess that's all I really got to say.. oh I'm starting a F.O.P.Q.O.T.D. now too! that's fairly odd parents quote of the day! B.O.T.D- life F.O.P.Q.O.T.D.- I remember it like it was yesterday- Cosmo

yea... well... I'm bored.. and in a really pissy mood... Jordan's been in a bad mood since we got home from school... I smacked him in the back of the head and he put a hole in my bedroom door! I'm kinda shitty about that! But oh well.. I really want a cigarette! but hey I gotta go now... love always keska! B.o.t.d.- the back of my hand

I'm really gone.. I came home from school early today cause I had a migraine my mom gave me a loratab and her and mamaw took me to Los Bravos.. it was good! I feel better now.. I got TOPS tonight so that should be fun I haven't been in 7 weeks so yea! I need to go do the dishes and shit! I wish I could hear what song was on my diary.. it's all messed up on my computer so I can't hear it... :'-(.. umm...I had a really bad week last week.. and this one doesn't seem to be starting off good either! So umm.. yea... This weekend was boring! Friday was a VERY VERY BAD DAY! I had to babysit the Kell's I thought I was going to kill Aaron! Saturday was really slow! Bob and George were gone... my b/f was working.. Jeff called tho.. that was kinda weird.. but I just went ahead and had Matt come over.. but he just bored me even more... he was here until like 11... so yea... And saturday was movie day.. I watched.. What a girl wants, 50 first dates, and the Butterfly Effect... all 3 really good movies but at the end of the Butterfly Effect I got a migraine and I've had one ever since but hey yea... I guess I'm gonna go now! Love a.a.f. Keska B.O.T.D.- Drugs

wow! I'm hyper! I love my diary guys!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I gotta go back to school in like an hour! BLAH! It's open house tonight and I voluteered to help run the Spanish Club booth! So yea... plus I get extra credit in some of my classes for going! I need a song on my diary.. .I should see if they have that hocus pocus song.... come little children I'll take the away ... la la la de da de da da da de dum! blah blah.. well.. I'm gonna go now... OH YEAH ERIKA Josh's middle name is Xavier... DUH!! I should have remembered that! Love a.a.f. Keska B.O.T.D.- the phone

I'm just going to go through on the moods in alphabetical order everyday.. that way I use the moods that other wise would prolly never get used! ya know what I mean jelly bean. I had a really bad day.. but Sam*antha* (not Jessica) Erika, Joe, and the #1 person Chadd.. all cheared me up. Chadd wrote me a note today and drew me a picture of a flaming rose.. it was really pretty and it made my day! Me and Chadd broke up Friday(wow it was a long relationship 3 whole days) but anyways.. we've always been really good friends it was weird going out. So we just decided to stay friends! I broke up with Jeffmoo.. I never did write that in here! Just to find out he was cheating on me the whole time we were together with 3 other girls... but hey.. when I don't trust somebody.. it's usually a feeling I get and it's usually right! anyways.. school is shitty! BLAH BLAH BLAH! My principal is a fucking prick! He made me go to the office today cause my shirt was too short.. and I was on my way to gym so I asked him if I could go to gym class and just change my shirt and wear my gym shirt for the rest of the day and he was like no go to my office so I got there just for him to tell me to go to gym class change my shirt and wear my gym shirt for the rest of the day. ASSHOLE MUCH?!?!? Then I stayed up until like 1 in the morning doing homework that a sub assigned us and told us it was due today just for the teacher to be here today and tell us it wasn't due until Thursday.. I guess the people who didn't do it got a break huh?? But hey I'm in a good mood now.. and that's all that matters... Erika and Jeffcake might be coming over in a little bit so I'm gonna go now! Love a.a.f. Keska b.o.t.d.- adderall

I already wrote this entry not writing it again fuck off! I'm really hyppy happer... but not writing this entry again! Love a.a.f. Keska

umm.. yea.. I'm really hyper.. not happy.. but very hyper.. my mom overdosed on some pills last night or something I don't really know what's going on... I wasn't here! I'm going to break up with Jeff.. I know he's a really nice guy and all .. but for some fucked up reason I don't trust him... something's just not right.. and if I can't trust him then there's nothing there.. cause I base a relationship strictly on trust.. I love him to death I just don't trust him... I gotta go to work in 2 min. so I'll write more later! Love a.a.f. Keska b.o.t.d.- life

WOW! I feel a lot better since my last entry I haven't even talked to what's his fuck!?!? he he he... I'm really happy with Jeff! I finally heard from Sam.... she's coming to live with me probably! I'm so happy! wow! I got a headache! Well.. School's about to start.. I really don't have anything else to say! I love ya muches! Love a.a.f. Keska BOTD- Jeff

Yes, I rule! I'm redoing Jessica's Background and stuff right now! She's over her "tigger" so she needs something new! I'm the graphics queen on the scene to changer her diary for her! ^_^ If you don't like it Jessica, you can change it, but I knew that you like FFX graphics so I picked out Lulu, cause she's cool and her background has green in it! Love, George