Sometimes I like to pretend that I actually do live in a fairytale world. That I actually do control everyhting and that if i believe enough my dreams and wishes will come true. I know this is exactly the same thoughts as every girl has at about the age of 12 or 13 perhaps, but i can't help but be pulled back into my retreat only to reassure myself that there is a safe place, a happy place with no confusing problems. Where everything and everyone is content. I'm an Idealist, if you haven't noticed. After my year in Germany, I have a new found faith in fairy tales and dreams coming true. In Germany I found independence, a brother, great friends, and a true love who proved to be a wonderful guy and did and said everything that I had always pictured in my fairy tales. All he needed was a little prince costume ;) But, yeah, I'm a believer. Wenka is coming on Wednesday. I need to convince mom to drive up to Mass. with me. I wanna visit Josh and check out colleges. Sometimes i think i might end up in Massachusetts. I don't know why. I miss Josh.