Failure...I am destined to be a failure. life is hitting me all at once and I don't know if I'll be able to handle it with the grace that I may handly other things with. I was always the one who said that I need to get out of here and experience life indepentently, but now I am so scared. It's hititng me like a ton of bricks that success is not guaranteed, and while I want to do something I love, nothing I love will ever be safe. I was always teh one looking forward to growing up, but now I want to hold on. I need to let go and breathe on my own. I feel the tears well before I begin to cry just thinking that I may fail. My greatest fear: Failure. I don't think I'll be able to handle it. Will I find success? Will i find love? Will I find hate? Or Failure? This is where I am torn. I've never been like everyone else. Half free spirit, half practical tightass. Why can't I find a happy medium like myself. And why do I feel so alone. Its all bombarding me. And I feel so alone. I'm scared. Everyone has a plan. I thought I had one, but then I realized there were too many holes penetrating the surface and i'd fall through so fast. I dont want to be alone. Colleges are emailing me, telling me to choose them, but how can i choose a school with out knowing what I want to do with my life. It hurts.