what the fuck have i done? can someone please tell me. cuz i dont know i lost all i had. and risked all i want. im left here. not alone but fairly close. what the fuck have i done? what was i thinking? perhaps i wasnt perhaps i was. what the fuck was i thinking. look what iv done. look what iv caused. look what iv lost. i lost his trust in me. i just didnt want him to worry about me. the way i worry about him look what iv done. what the fuck was i thinking? perhaps i wasnt. [[[[im sorry]]]] im so ashamed of myself