its not that i dont care, damn it i do. i care far to much. i care about him, i love him, i love my joshë....and i love her, i dare not tell her shes one o my best friends. And ma nigga, Ty, lol damn, hes growing up so fast. and i look how far hes come, and where i stand, and i wonder, what the fuck am i doing. Its as if, as if, one day its gona end. and time will surpress. As if love, is but an illusion, and life, a shadow knocked under heavens wings. Not tha work of tha devil, for he can not touch me, bu but not gods child, simply a softer sin. yes, a softer sin. its as if, there should be more, more then this moment, ither good, or ill. More then this lie, this....object. its as if....there is no reason. in tha end, does fate take its toll? or id fate, as good as the price we pay, and nothing more? i think back on the past years. and wonder, wonder why...wonder how....wonder, what if.....but thats all it will ever be. thats all it can be, and perhaps, this, this is my destiny, or perhaps, this, this is just a temporary fix, merly a part of the juerny to somthing more. its lyk driving 90 on tha freeway, on the wetest day of the year, and trowing your hands up screaming....and just lyk that....sweet misery has taken control. after all. im the one who gave that up to begin with, arnt i?