Hey guys. Its been so long! You all prolly thought I had dropped off the face of the planet, but I just haven't been on here. Well, Alex and I are still together. He's back to smoking and thats why I'm sulking and refusing to hang out with him until he quits it again. He lied to me for a month before one of his friends let it slip to me. I've got one of his Christmas presents already. I'm supposed to be going shopping with Dana tonight/this evening. Hopefully I'll get everything I want for my friends. I don't really have that may ppl to shop for anymore. I've lost most of my friends but I've gained a few great talking buddies. ^^ All is good. I aced all my exams, I can just feel it! ^^ I am back to living with Greg and Dana. Mum keeps begging me to come back, though.

Heh heh... tropical storms. It gives us a reason to play soccer in the rain. Grr... I have lost all typing skills!!! But anyways, we have a soccer game against Smith County today. Hopefully it doesn't get canceled because its not thundering or lightning. Its just raining alot. It'll be cold. ^^ It'll be great fun!!! I'm wondering why it said I have no friends...? I'll have to fix it. ^^ Well, my sixteenth birthday is in about two weeks!!! YAY!!! September Twelfth!!! Rock on!!

My babies are cuter! They are! Why didn't Shelby win??? WHY???? She has the most adorable lil' pudgy cheeks! They droop in the cutest way! (( not the wierd *sneezes* old ppl way, but the adorable baby way! )) Shelby was in the baby show at the fair last night and she didn't win. They had some cute babies, but mine was the cutest. Sadie's in the show tonight. She's gonna win cause she's beautiful. ^^ She's eighteen months old, small for her age, with HUGE hazel eyes, big soft pink lips, a perfect smile, light brown hair, uber long eyelashes, and rosy red cheeks! She's beautiful! She better win!

Dear god... the muscles right under my but hurt really bad... T.T I waddle when I walk... T.T Alex was looking at my chest... ^^ God I love him. ^^ *glances over at her sexy baby* Anyways, we started soccer yesterday and it was awesome! Haha! I'm gonna get back in shape! Gonna get my muscles back! Oh yea! I'm gonna be toned again! Rock on! *giggles* Tee Hee... *pokes Alex*

Dammit!!! I hate me period!! GRRR!!!! I shall let the reasons remain anonymous... *knows she spelt that wrong* Anyways, I spent all weekend with Alex! ^^ Saturday I went ut to eat with his family at Demo's in Lebonon (sp?) then Sunday we went and seen Land of the Dead in the theatre, then we spent all Monday together at my house. ^^ The details of those three nights will be left to my memory and maybe I'll tell Tiger 'cause she's cool. ^^ I can't wait for Locke's pool party! Too bad its at Koda's house... or maybe its not too bad... *innocent smile* Oh, the things I can get away with over there 'cause adults love me. ^^ I'm going over to help set everything up tomorrow and the pool party is Thusrday. I hope Alex can make it! ^^ I need a new bathing suit. I got blood on my bottoms... AGAIN WITH THE DAMN PERIOD!!!!! *eye twitchy* My new fave song is by Greenday... 'Wake Me Up When September Ends' ---------------------------------------------- To rurounihelp28 --- I have this ex who's been in love with my forever, which I'm totally over. I love my new boyfriend, Alex, now. Well, anyways, my ex, John, has started to come back around since I've moved back in with my mum. ( he lives down the road ) Me and him have been broken up for almost three years now, but he's still in love with me. My mum is convinced that if I keep hanging out with him that I'm gonna start having feelings for him again and dump Alex. She says that if you're around someone enough that they start to grow on you. Well, I've already made it very clear to John that I have no romantic feelings for him and that I don't see myslef ever liking him again. How can I convince my mum that we're only friends, that we're not madly in love. I love Alex and I wouldn't do anything to lose him.

I thought we were friends. You didn't tell me about Curtis. I'm calling you later.

My mother is... god... I fucking hate her. All she does is shoot up. She doesn't even care about herself. She is so pathetic. I hate having to live with her. Yep, thats right. I got kicked out of Dana and Greg's two days ago. *snorts* Its been only two days and I'm already ready to kill myself. I hate that house so bad. There is too much bad karma around... too many bad memories and pain floating around in the air. It sucks. At least I get to do basically whatever I want. But I have to put up with my mum, so I'm not quite sure that its worth it. But I'm considered a bad kid for some reason. Its not like I've been lying to everybody... skipping school... sneaking off with my boyfriend... No, of course not. Hey, at least I'm not doing drugs. *rolls her eyes* I really haven't changed that much. I'm just in a pissy mood because of my mother. I should be happy real soon. ^^' Hopefully... Hmm... lets see... I've got a great tan now. ^^ If that helps anything. My hair is dark again. I'm in love with my watch (again) *nuzzles her beautiful pink fishnetty watch* I wuv eww wiw' watchee.... ^^ Tee Hee. I have my permit, meaning I can legally drive now. *evil grin* Unfortunatly my mum went stupid and grounded my from driving for two months. Pfft... like that'll stop me. I really don't care what she thinks. (oh great... I sound like a teenager XD) I passed all my classes and now I'm going onto eleventh grade with 16 credits. I need... 28? 30? To graduate? Who knows. ^^ But so far I haven't failed any classes. Webbers out of the hospital. Its so great to have him back. He's totally awesome. Locke's happy on drugs. (she, like, fractured her knee or something and the pain is bad so the docs drugged her up) Hmm... lets see... My toenails are pink and uber sparkly! O.O I wuv 'em woo!! *grins* Well, I'm gonna go stare off at some random things now. Peace and Love.

I don't even like this song. o.O? Well, we won our soccer game yesterday. ^^ First game of the season and we won it 3-1! I din't make a goal, but I took, like, twenty shots on goal. I was attempting shots like every couple of minutes. (( Ask Tiger or... *evil glare* Kat )) OMG! Our uniforms are so neon that our faces were reflecting the color! XD *points to a lime/neon green jersey* I hope our picture don't have it where out faces turn out to be green! Er... I hope our faces don't turn out green in our pictures. That way makes more sense, huh. ^^' I can't wait 'till tomorrow! Alex gets to drive me home from school! And he's got something planned and he won't tell me what it is... 'cause during third block (( english )) we were passing a note and he said that he couldn't wait till Monday. When I asked him "why?" he said that I'd just have to wait and see. Ah! ^^ Uncle Dale's brother David got in a bad car crash two nights ago. So now we have two of his three children staying here with Aunt Brenda for a couple of months. Dear god... that means that they'll be here when I come over on the weekends. And I don't like little kids that much... they're, like, four and eight years old and wild as rattlesnakes! I'll end up choking one... X( So not cool... So there's Dustin, Brooke, and Brandy I have to put up with now... *shity eyes as she grins slowly* But not next weekend... I have a plan... I'm still working on a cover story, though... but I'm working something out in my mind right now... I'm prolly gonna get caught and grounded for the next two and a half years that I'll be living with Greg, but... oh well. To be young and stupid. *wistful sigh* I love this song! (( Goin' Crazy by Natalie )) *laughs* Robbie! Oh, and about James... he hurts me so much... he knows that I'm not over him and that I still love him, but does he care? Nuu... he goes out and does any possible thing to squeeze my heart until it bleeds... revenge is a cruel thing. He is an asshole to my now and he knows it hurts me so he keeps doing it. Ah! One of my favorite songs! Jet - Look what you've done

I got a new boyfriend! Talk about total upgrades! I'm talking six one, jet black hair, hazel eyes, goatee, toned body, car... *grins* Yea. Alex is a total babe. And if you're wondering about the title... well, I told Dustin that he'd have to go to my soccer game tomorrow and check out the soccer babes. He was like, "Soccer babes?" Then blah blah blah... I let Locke tattoo my ankle. She's not done with it yet. She still has to go over it a few more times to make it premanent, but its pretty noticeable right now. I'll have to take a picture or something. Warning, though! Scalpels hurt when going into your ankle bone! XD

My baby is growing up... *sniffles* He finally hit me back... Dustin hit me in the mouth and busted my lip. I'm so proud! In a couple of years he'll be able to actually hurt me! ^^

Yes... they're all burning to death... *gazes lovingly up at the dying ladybugs burning slowly but surely in the light* Well, it depends on what you heard, Robbie. I broke up with James on Monday morning. We were at church on Sunday night and I was crying on his shoulder and he acted like I wasn't even there. And when he did choose to acknowledge me existance, he acted as if we were strangers instead of a seven month old couple. That hurt me. He didn't comfort me in my time of pain. He wasn't there for me, even though he was sitting right next to me. It broke my heart and I broke his the next morning. I felt like crap, too... *sighs angrily* He won't go away... Dustin keeps putting nickels down my shirt. I'm trying to ignore him... trying not to choke him... I'm single! Look out world! Webber was really in a car crash. He's in one of our states top critical care hospitals at this very moment. We're all taking it hard... and we're all dying mentally over it. *feels better because she just punched the crap out of Dustin, though* Well, for more details on Webber or Justin Hale (( was in the car too )) ask me. Oh, new email address... wolf_demon_049@hotmail.com

*smiles at FSX* I don't like my ring for the price, I like it because it was someone special who gave it to me. And I'm sure Deanna will like the ring you'll give her, no matter what the price. ^^ Tee Hee. You gotta have faith in yourself, man! ^^ Well, its nearing the arrival time for the new baby, which still doesn't have a name. u.u' But I'm sure they'll think of something. Personally, I like Nymphadora... but thats just me... *smiles some* Dana highlighted her hair this really light, bright orangy yellow!! It looks really great but Greg hates it. ^.~ I dyed my hair a dark red color and got it cut some more so that its shorter in the back and longer in the front... I'm thinking about making it look like Momiji's from Fruits Basket! ^^ I love him! He reminds me of myself. ^^' I personally love Kyo... *drool-a drool-a * And Hatsuharu!!! *grins* I love them all! ^^ What a great manga! Well, I think thats all. ^^

Well, well, well... they cancelled school today because only 91% were showing up for school. They blamed illnes. I blame it on the lazy bums that live in our county. But, hey, I'm not complaining. ^.~ I got this big-ass ring from James for Valentines day!!! It's effin huge! It cost him $200, so I think he's crazy. I personally don't like big, fancy rings, but I like this one and I don't know why. *smiles down at the ring on her finger* It has a large pink diamond surrounded by smaller clear diamonds. Its really beautiful, but not my type. Again, I'm not complaining. ^.~

Ah! Long story short! Went to aunts, aunt got druck, aunt slurred me, I got pissed, I went home. That was about a month ago and I haven't been able to get on a computer since. I have lost all typing skill I previously had. XD Updates: I got my hair cut. Its up to my chin now and it looks uber-cute. James and I are getting out prctures taken together tomorrow... our first ones togeher. Curtis called. Yippee!!!! I missed him so much! I miss you all! *sniffle* Locke's having a hard time right now. She and Buu had anbother fight over the phone last night and she's devestated. She broke down on me and went home early today from school.

I broke down tonight. I was on MSN talking to Locke when we somehow got on the subject of losing important things. I started thinking about Daddy. It really got to me. I kept thinking, "He's gone. He's never coming back. Never..." I then started crying. I'm so not over it. even close, but no one knows. I'm gonna talk to James about it tomorrow.

Me http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v244/ryoko049/Image015.jpg Dustin http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v244/ryoko049/Image031.jpg Dustin and Missy http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v244/ryoko049/Image033.jpg Me Again http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v244/ryoko049/Image017.jp Fuck it. Just copy and paste. XD

I am so nervous! XD Jay is supposed to call me tonight! Or tomorrow... I don't know when exactly, but I'm still so nervous! What if I sound stupid? ---------------------------- Tomorrow is Sadie's first birthday party. I'm so proud of what she's accomplished in this past year... her first with us on this planet. She has grown so much... I love her. James... he has yet again made me cry... out of happiness. He accepts that I'm atheist... dammit he accepted it! He fucking accepted it!!! Goddammit I love him!!! All he did was come up to me and wrap his arms around me and whispered in my ear, "I will always love you, no matter what." and I started crying on his shoulder. He is so great... Oh, and I'm gonna start gaging my ears. I've got a small gage in my right ear right now. It doesn't hurt anymore.

Nexxus is so hot... no, not hot... sexy. He is pure sexiness... *drools*

Why, its make up! Thats right folks, the dreaded make up that I despise so much! Its on my face. Right there. *points* And ya know what... I don't mind. I think I might actually start wearing it again. Well, if that ain't the damnest then I don't know what is. I feel a whole lot better today. *smiles* I threw up as soon as I logged off of MSN Messenger. I mean, as soon as! I stood up and headed straight to the bathroom. I barely made it to the toilet. It came out as soon as I had the toilet lid up. I felt a little better after that. Well... for a while... I got to feeling sick again and went to bed as soon as I walked into the door at home. I woke up this morning feeling as good as ever! I think it was the phone call that I got from James that night at around 9:45 pm. I got home at 6 pm and went straight to bed then later that night he called. He said that he was worried about me cause he hadn't seen me in a week and hadn't spoken to me in two days. He's so sweet... he told me about... this is so... so... well... I'll get him to write it down for me so I don't leave out any details. It was so heart warming, though. He also gets to come to my party, but he can't stay all night. I can't get ahold of Nexxus... I'll try more later. I hope he picks up the damn phone!!! GRRR!!!! God I love him! ^^ Um... I think thats all. ^^

Dear god... someone give me a band aid... *retches* Sorry I haven't written in so long... I've been away from a computer. Well, Christmas was great. *smiles weakly* I got loads of great stuff. Well, I got my first ever hickey on Christmas Eve. I haven't got in trouble yet. I thin everyone kows except for Greg and James' parents. *grins a little* Its going away. Some kind of frozen spoon deal... *shrugs* Well, mum's letting me have a New Years party. So far Locke and Tiger are coming. Kat can't. James' ppl said no, but he's trying his damnest to butter them up. I left an message on Nexxus' machine, and I've tried calling more times, but no one picks up. I have no clue about how to get ahold of Ben. Dude... I've gotta contact Ben! I woke up last night and started puking. I feel horrid now. I've got this neverending feeling in my stomach that I need to throw up, but everytime I lean over the toilet it goes away. I hate throwing up... Sadie is on the front page of the Smithville Review. She's been pictured as this years New Years Baby. Her pic is so adorable. I'll have to scan it and figure out how to post it on here. I got my hair cut and colored. Its now laying, barely, on my shoulders and its my natural color of medium brown. It has a few starnds of blonde highlights, though, but I can't see them. I'll try to get a picture. I'm hoping that Uncle Dale emailed me those pictures from the play... *checks* Nope. What a bum. I bet he never sends them... Lets see here... I'm trying to think if... oh yea. I got my tooth pulled. It didn't hurt. I thought it would. My first pulled tooth... well... besides the ones that I've pulled on my own. I should be getting braces soon. My stomach hurts so bad... I think thats all...