Some of the better days were in this week. And I wish I didn't have to medicate myself for these results. It would be nice if I was normally this way. But I'm not so, I just have to deal with it. I guess I will be fine, some day. Maybe not any time soon but a girl can dream. I'd really like to just hang out with friends more. Maybe that would make me feel better. Just a few things actually make me happy anymore. But I try to surround myself with happy people. And it works. People who can make me laugh are the best. I want to be okay but I'm not. I just have to get used to taking meds to make me sane. It seems like I can't even interact with people without taking my anti-depressants. I hate this shit. I can't even be normal. It's stupid how I'll never be okay. I wish it all wasn't true. I wanted to be just fine but there's no way. And I don't understand why. I can only hope and wish. I do things that I seem to regret later. I really feel sorry for myself. I should though. It seems like there's nothing I can do to help anything. So much pain in my poetry. Like the poem I wrote We're all dead. A girl in my math class read it and she said that it was good but freaky. Which was find with me. I didn't care what she said I just wanted someone to read it. I really missed writing.--