i suppose i'm starting to feel a little bit better about everything. well, sometimes i think that i'm getting better and then i just fall right back into the same old groove. everyday is just so monotonous: wake, shower, dress, go to school, come home, and be bored for the rest of the gaddamned day. no one is ever there when i come home and whenever someone does come home, they're only there for an hour or so. it's bad enough that my own mother doesn't have time for me, but now my sister is moving out. you have no idea how lonely i will be after that. it's pathetic. i need a car and a license so that i can get out and do things sometimes. i fucking hate sitting at home with absolutely nothing to do. it drives my crazy sitting there maybe watching tv, or listening to the radio, or even doing my homework. and then that's it. what else is there? fuck, whenever i think about it i get pissed off. at what, i don't know. and school doesn't fucking help either. it stresses me out so bad that i actually have to see a psychiatrist on a regular basis. but whatever. maybe if i stop to actually think and quit complaining all the time then i could get something done. tch... one could only hope. i don't think that i'll ever get better.