ive done all i can possibly do to try and make you understand how much i really miss you..i even apologized to you which i dont usually do just because i feel like when i say sorry im admitting that i did something wrong, and i dont like doing that. i gave you the chance to call me but you havent called..maybe youll call later tonight or maybe youre just not ready to talk to me yet and youre gonna call later in the week and thats fine, ill give you a week to call me and then im done. you can still come back, youre always welcome back, its just gonna take more time for me..i wont let you back the moment you wanna come back, we'll have to work on that. "tonight ill cry my last tears." ive been crying over you for a month now, and theres no point in it. why should i waste my energy in being angry with you? its not worth it. its not gonna bring you back. thank you for everything, whether you know it or not, you have taught me so much. and ive learned that i take too much for granted. some people..including you have it so much wrose then me, and you just live a happy life and youre so greatful for everything you do have. you made me realize that i need to give people a chance because many people could be totally differnt out of school then they are in school. and many people act the way they do because of reasons other people may not know and you should get to know someone first before you criticize them. and ive learned that some peoples lives are so crazy, and even though they may try and cover up all the hurt they feel inside by makin jokes, or being a complete asshole, deep down they really have a sensative side. a side that they only let a few people know about... ive learned all this from you mike because that is who you are. and i love you for that, but at the same time, i hate you. i hate you because i know how you feel, and i know you cant express that when youre with your friends so you become this asinine "fat mike" kid whom i hate more then anyone. i hate "fat mike" because he was the one who hurt me. he was the one who put me through so much heartache and pain. not mike. not michael paul fortier. not the kid who would talk to me all hours of the night. not the kid who spent his entire summer with me. not the kid who helped me down the stairs when i was cocked off my ass. not the kid who would give me back massages. not the kid that would always cuddle with me and give the tightest hugs. not the kid who would do anything for me. not the kid who loved me. the mike i love, never hurt me..but this "fat mike" you become in school, has shattered my heart in a million and one pieces..and i dont know if ill ever be able to forget that..but i do know ill be able to forgive... if only youd call me.or say a simple little "hey" or a wave..even just a smile in the hallways. just something. i know its hard..you have to be this big macho guy in school for all your friends, but just the simplist thing. just something to let me know you still care. just something so i know that youll never forget about me. something to tell me that youll always remember our summer together. people always say, "you never forget your first love." i was your first and i hope youll always remember me for that. the girl you learned everything from. the first girl you ever really cared about. there will always be a place in my heart for you michael. and i will never forget that summer i fell so in love with you. i miss you.