I'm confused

copywritted I’m not crazy, I’m just a little confused, Exhausted, and scared. You said so much it made me think am I really the way that they all seem to thinkI am? I’m just watching life go by Sitting here and wondering, why? I just want to be me Happy, smiling and carefree. But most of the time am not I am sad and blue and someone I’m not I'm just a little scared I think its of being me, I don’t want to be that way I don’t want to be scared anymore. Everything I did I fucked up and all my friends have given up I can’t just wish for someone cared. Because you’ve been there and done that All I could do is think of me and how I used to be. It was so hard but finally I figured out you really were not placing an act no one ever cared as much as you, actually no one ever cared But now I see this selfish side of me that was the side you knew I’m attention seeking and always was I was wasting my time, but then what did I expect? No one wants to spend time with me, because of how I am I’m Losing friends left and right what can I do? everything doesn’t seem right I’m looking for myself, the self I want to be the happy smiling me Life goes on around me, I pretend to take part but does anyone really see I can’t because there seems to be no part for me? I love life to no end I just can’t find my part I always thought that it really doesn’t matter what you think just what you do. I know I’m not myself, but I want to be I will find away if it takes me forever and a day Crying, worrying and anxious too I wish I knew that I’m still not alone I need to decide so help me please I'm asking you on bent knees I just can't face the day ahead Should I do this? Or should I do that? I don't want to talk Wait, I feel like a chat.I'm too scared to go forwards and scared to turn back. Everything is blurry And starting to turn black. I knew this was a mistake to go walking on my own. No one knows how scared I feel.I just didn’t want to let you go you mean so much to me you said and did so much to help. I admire you but that doesn’t matter now I messed up bad this time I really did I can’t seem to find myself because every time I try to look I look back to see you I feel like half my life is gone since the day that Angela died. Sometimes I want to give up and just draw a picture on my wrist except when I start to feel that why I get so scarred of what you will say and even wonder sometimes if you still care anyway.
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like it im alwayz here tho and ill never think anything bad of ya b.c ur rock to much haha im a loser letz bow

LOTZ LuV

<3Trish