I think I always mess things up. I never say the right things. I never do the right things. I'm pretty much useless and just plain stupid. God damn. I'm sitting here feeling almost sorry for myself and it's pathetic. It's not even that bad. Just that sometimes it seems like he hardly wants to talk to me. I hate saying that. It sounds so stupid....like I'm one of those girls obsessed with someone. God damn I don't like myself. Who would though? For the most part I mean, I'm ridiculous. I really am. I say stupid things....they just come out without really thinking about them. I don't mean to complain but I do. Alot. I hate it......and me. What it is....is that...I feel so stupid for worrying and thinking about things so much that I don't have the answers to now but in a few years I'll probably know what I should do or should have done. Ok, what it comes down to is that I just wished I cared more about things....or I wish I cared less because I can't tell anymore.