once again i am forced to put another entry like this in my diary. once again i've found a way to screw up. i always find a way to ruin the best things i have. i always find a way to hurt the ones i love. i don't know what it is about me but it seems like i always do something horrible. i really don't know why i get treated the way i do sometimes. i mean sure...i mess up sometimes. i say or do the wrong things from time to time. but is that really a good reason for me to be hurt in return. especially if i say something just joking around or being sarcastic. i hurt so much sometimes it's not even funny. and some people can't even see that. they think i'm tired or mad at them or something. do they think i do these things intentionally. do they think i try to throw everything away. it's like life hasn't been hard enough for me as it is. i don't know why people have to resort to smacking me across the face. that's so horrible. that's just as bad as me hitting a girl. it hurts so bad. but i get it anyway. what did i do to deserve being treated like this. if i'm so great...why does this happen. why? i told you all i'm not great. i'm nothing really. that's who i am. that's what i feel like. i hurt 24/7. i'm depressed. i'm upset. i don't need to ruin my life more. i don't do this intentionally. by the way...thanks for commenting on my last entry guys. means a lot to me. i could care less if you take care all. ---nothing