All the years I've tried With more to go Will the memories die I'm waiting Will I find you Can I find you We're falling down I'm falling -"Fall to Pieces" by Velvet Revolver I'm depressed and selfish and not goal oriented and frowned upon. My mom is dead. I cried today in the library. I miss her. Is it odd that I never hold myself accountable? If something goes wrong it couldn't be my fault. No way. No no. My sister (who, up to this point, has been my best friend/fellow competitor/confidant) is pushing me away. I'm bringing her down. You see, she is a genius. Literally. She's going to find a cure for cancer or better treatments for arthitis or something equally fan-fucking-tastic. I, on the other hand, have an average IQ and I don't even have a major picked out in my second year. It's pitiful. I can't ride on her success anymore. She won't allow it. I can tell. It's really quite embarrassing to be found out as the inferior sibling. I've worked so hard to cover it up. Now the whole world will know that I'm a no-good, low-life, moron. Maybe that's two parts horrific and one part refreshing. Just maybe. http://www.robertfrost.org/indexgood.html